Femboy: Defining Their Craze and Answering Your Questions

Doublelist Team

April 6, 2023 7 minutes read
Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious!

Everyday we learn something new. Perhaps today or recently, you heard the term “femboy” for the first time. You scratched your head, searched your brain, and wondered what it was. Maybe you’re not even sure if it’s okay to say it.

Thank goodness for the Internet, right? It’s that sacred spot where you can type in any question without fear. Here we’ll tell you everything you need to know about femboys. From definitions to some frequently asked questions about who can be a femboy, it’s all here.

What Does Femboy Mean?


The definition of femboy is right in the name. Let’s break it down: fem (meaning feminine) and boy (referring to a male or masc-identifying person. It refers to a man or nonbinary person who embraces feminine presentation. Put another way, it’s a masculine person who expresses themselves in conventionally feminine ways. They can do this through clothing, speech, mannerisms, accessories, hair, nail polish, you name it.

Although “boy” is in the name, a femboy or femboi can be any age.. Though most commonly, they’re under 30. Some view this self-identifier as an important part of their gender presentation or where they fall on the gender spectrum. Others just like the aesthetic of wearing feminine clothing.

Where did the term femboy come from? Like most slang terms these days, there’s no definitive answer or fancy etymology to trace. The common thought is that the word originated in the 90s. It was a way to refer to guys who dressed like girls. From there, its popularity may have increased on a Reddit community forum. However, recently, femboys have taken over TikTok. They embrace it as a way to change what being “manly” means.

Is It an Offensive Term?


No, femboy is not an offensive word on its own. In fact, femboys embrace the word. It describes how they feel about their gender expression. They can be masculine and feminine at the same time. They can wear soft skirts and flowy dresses while still being men.

However, context and intent matter. There are people who use it as a slur. These are the same people who use “cucks” or “soyboys” to refer to men they view as effeminate or weak. Calling someone a femboi in this way is offensive.

Another place where the term is offensive is if you use it to refer to a Transwoman. It’s offensive because calling them a femboi negates their gender identity. It implies that you believe they’re a man in women’s clothing, not a woman.

As with many words, it’s best not to call someone a femboi unless they ask you to do so. If you like the femboy title, let people know and embrace it.


Is There a Femboy Flag?

Parade 1

Yes, there is a femboy flag. Just like many subcultures and self-identifiers, this community has a pride flag. The purpose is to have a common banner under which different group members can live. It’s something they can wear or feature to show that they embrace who they are.

The femboi flag features seven horizontal stripes of equal sizes. The one in the center is light blue, symbolizing femboys’ masculinity. It’s a light blue to represent a soft boyishness and to suggest that the “manly” part of them isn’t overpowering.

On each side of the blue stripe is a white stripe. To some, the white symbolizes trans or nonbinaryness. To others, it references gender-fluidity and neutrality. White is not deeply associated with either femininity or masculinity, so it occupies this space on the flag.

Next to those white stripes is a light pink and slightly darker pink. Both of these shades refer to femininity. The pink is on the very outside of the flag to reference how femboy presents themselves. Aka, femme on the outside, masc on the inside.

Does Dressing Feminine as a Man Mean You’re Gay?

Nope, dressing feminine as a man doesn’t mean your gay. Being a femboy doesn’t mean your gay, either. This subculture doesn’t have anything to do with sexuality. You’ll definitely find queer, gay, and bi femboys. But you’ll also find many straight guys who enjoy experimenting with feminine aesthetics and softer personas.

On top of that, many straight women (especially young women) find femboys appealing. They like the appeal of a more gentle, relatable man rather than a stereotypical macho man.

There’s no one way to be a femboy. So if it’s something you’re thinking of trying out, don’t let your sexuality hold you back. You can enjoy typically “gendered” things no matter your dating preferences.

Are There Black Femboys?

Bear Honey

Yes, there are Black femboys. Not only are there Black femboys, there are femboys of every race and ethnic background. Much like sexuality, race and this identifier aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, black people throughout history have paved the way for gender-bending fashion. Think of the ballroom scene in 1980s New York. Or even Jaden Smith wearing skirts as a style statement in the mid-2000s.

Some people argue that it’s harder to be a Black femboy. Part of this comes from racism. Many non-black individuals hold stereotypes about what a black man should be. Another aspect of this comes from cultural factors within the Black community. The community discourages black men from showing flamboyant or effeminate behavior, even more than in white circles.

In the end, you can if you’re black and like wearing feminine apparel or having a more feminine persona. And you should. There are many online communities (including the Reddit we mentioned earlier) ready to support you.

Let’s Talk Big Booty Femboys

Yes, you can be a big booty femboy. Rest easy, boys with large posteriors. There’s space for you everywhere. Wondering if you are a big booty femboy? Well, if you’ve got the ass and you’ve got the feminine presentation, you’re in. Being a femboi doesn’t rely on having any particular physical characteristic. So whether you’re tall or short, well-endowed or not, you can throw on a skirt or paint your nails.

Now, what if you’re looking for a big booty femboy? We get it. Lots of people salivate at the idea of a cheeked-up dude who can wear the hell out of ruffles and lace. If you’re a gay man looking for such a suitor, try a free gay dating site. Add a line in your bio about preferring a feminine man or come out and say, “femboys welcome.”

Or, regardless of your sexuality, you can comb through the femboi mecca: Tiktok. Just search through the #femboyfriday hashtag and slide into some DMs.

Is Being a “Sexy Femboy” a Thing?

You bet. Being a sexy femboy is absolutely a thing. Did you not check out the #femboy tag on Tiktok as we told you to? You can be an erotic femboi any way you want. Here are a few common tricks of the trade.

  1. Sex up your feminine side. Wear shorter skirts and crop tops. Try a low-cut top or a backless dress to really show some skin. Or play around with different fabrics. Leather-like materials, lace, and velvet are all big crowd-pleasers.
  2. Sex up your masculine side. You know how Harry Styles looks sexy in a dress? The same way, he’s attractive in a suit: he’s handsome. Pump up your muscles for a more ripped aesthetic. Wear your hair short or style it with pomade. If you post internet femboi thirstraps, show off your manly chiseled jaw and smolder.

Are you trying to find a hookup with a sexy femboi or a relationship? Searching social media tags and dating sites are still great options. But if you really want to get specific, why not try a personals website? On these sites, you get to put up an ad describing exactly what you want in a partner.

Our favorite classifieds site? DoubleList. Here you’ll find all sorts of dating and adult content including options to fulfill your femboy fantasies. Just set up a private account with your email to connect, chat, and date local singles in minutes. Sign up for a free account today!

Unlock your wildest fantasies and connect with locals today!

Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious!

Leave a Comment