Kink for Beginners: Discovering Your Desires

Doublelist Team

October 30, 2023 9 minutes read
Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious!

In the world of human relationships, sex lives and intimacy, there are various desires, fantasies, and passions. In the dating world, it’s not all about romantic meals for two or walking hand-in-hand in the park. Sometimes, it’s about embracing your sexual desires, exploring your preferences, and discovering your kinks. If you’re looking for “kink for beginners,” you’ve come to the right place.

No one is the same, and that’s great! We all have different things that make us feel good or turn us on. We might just not know it yet! If you’re a beginner looking to explore the world of kinks, fear not! In this blog, we’ll look at beginner tips, the different kinks, and the new kink culture you could discover. Who knows, you may even find a new kink that excites you.

If you and your partner want to experiment with some new sexual activities, you’ve come to the right place. Are you ready to dive into the world of kinks? Let’s get into it!

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What Is a Kink?

Before we get into the different types of kinks, let’s explore what a kink is. A kink refers to unconventional sexual practices, fantasies, and concepts. You may have also heard the term fetish before. A fetish is different from a kink. According to Healthline, a fetish is a sexual need during sexual activity, and a kink is a preference. A common fetish is a pantyhose fetish, for example.

A kink covers a wide range of sexual pleasure, possibilities and preferences. Some kinks are more common, like role-playing, spanking, and blindfold sex. Others are less common. It all depends on personal preference and what brings you sexual pleasure.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different. What one person considers as a kink may be the norm for another. Keep this in mind when you explore with your sexual partner, and keep the dynamic open-minded.

Below, we’ll look at some kink tips for beginners to get you started.

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Kink Tips for Beginners: Your Passport to a World of Pleasure

Do you want to explore the world of kinks, but you’re not sure where to start? Let’s face it: being a beginner in anything is often daunting. However, taking slow steps and gradually exploring concepts is great for your confidence. Ready to embark on an adventure and enter the world of kinks?

Here are our kink tips for beginners:

Communication is key

Have you heard the phrase “communication is key”? Well, in this case, it’s also true. Exploring new sexual kinks requires healthy communication between you and your partner. Discuss your desires and preferences with them. That way, everyone is on the same page, and you’ll avoid any uncomfortable surprises.

It’s also a good idea to talk about boundaries. To freely explore your or your partner’s kinks, make sure you both feel safe and supported.

Establish safe words

Safe words are words that don’t usually come up during sexual practices. Examples are “red” or “pineapple”. Safewords have one clear meaning: stop! If you’re engaging in a sexual experience, you might feel more at ease if you establish a safe word. This is particularly relevant if you’re engaging in a consensual, non-consensual kink.

Start slowly

You don’t have to be an expert from the get-go. Starting slowly and gradually introducing your kink could help to increase your confidence. Begin with kinks that you find less intense, and work towards experimenting with more. By starting slowly, you and your partner will begin to feel more comfortable together, which is essential for kink experimentation.

Respect limits

As we said before, what one person sees as a kink may be totally normal for someone else. That’s absolutely fine! The key is to respect someone’s boundaries and limits without pushing them too far. Don’t put pressure on your partner or yourself to do something uncomfortable.

Speak to a sex therapist

Speaking to a professional is an empowering way to explore kink as a beginner. A sex educator may help you and your partner find ways to incorporate kinks into your sex life. Plus, a sex therapist may offer strategies for you and your partner to connect on a deeper level.

Do your research

Take your time to research your chosen kink. Reading this blog is a great start! You’ll discover safe practices, boundaries, and guides by exploring different kinks. Looking into other kinks can help you better understand what’s out there.

Once you’ve taken these steps, you’ll be ready to take these steps into the bedroom. Keep in mind that exploring kinks is a personal journey. There’s no set time limit on when you should begin. Instead, work with what makes you feel comfortable and go from there.

Are you ready to learn about some new kinks? Let’s get into it!

New Kinks for Beginners: Let the Adventure Begin 

Are you feeling ready to begin your adventure in the world of kink? Luckily for you, you don’t need to go too fast. In this guide, we’ll look at some perfect kinks for beginners. We’ve got you covered if you want to dip your toe in the water.

Here are some new kinks for beginners to try:

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1. Dirty Talk

Talking dirty is a great place to start because you can build it up as you go. An excellent place to start with dirty talk is by telling your partner what you want to do to them. Then, during sex, explain what you like about it.

Make sure to be as enthusiastic as possible. Hot tip: make sounds to accompany what you say. According to a study by Superdrug Online Doctor, 90% of participants felt aroused by dirty talk.

A great place to start with dirty talk is by taking more basic phrases and making them more descriptive. For example, you can intensify the phrase “Yeah, I like that.” You could say, “Keep doing that. I love when you use your hands to (insert what your partner’s doing here)”. By engaging in dirty talk, you can spice up your sex life.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, either. Ask your partner, “Does that feel good?” or “Do you like it when I do that?” Opening up communication is excellent for a healthy sex life. Dirty talk is helpful for beginners because you can control how much you say and increase the dirtiness each time.

2. Spanking

Spanking can be a fun addition to a bedroom. In short, spanking is the consensual smacking of someone’s bottom. You can use the palm of your hand or specially designed tools. Introducing spanking into your sex life is exciting as it adds a different dimension to sex.

Of course, there are different levels of spanking. For beginners, spanking explores the dynamic of submission and dominance. What’s good about spanking is starting slowly and building it up. Spanking is not an outlet of anger but an erotic expression of anticipation and arousal.

Start by warming the area by squeezing or tapping it to get the blood circulation going. When you spank your partner, your hand will make a significant impact, probably causing a loud noise. Rub it once you’ve spanked the area to avoid bruising and prolong your kinky activity.

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3. RolePlay

Sexy roleplaying is a great way to explore kink. With endless opportunities, it is up to you how you do it. You may have a particular scene from a movie you enjoy. Or you could want to recreate two people meeting for the first time. Whatever it is, the possibilities are countless.

Role-playing can be as complex or as simple as you want. You may act out a scene of two strangers if you’re a beginner. For example, your partner could be a sexy stranger serving you at a bar. The rest is history! Role-playing is a great way to get out of your head, especially good if you’re an overthinker.

You can spice things up in the bedroom by dressing up or acting like someone else. You could even go as basic as acting out doctors and patients. Have your partner dress up in a white coat and carefully inspect your body. You get where it’s going!

4. Foot fetish

Foot fetishes are incredibly common. Anabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, discusses foot fetishes. She claims foot fetishes are “heightened and specific sexual interest in feet and footwear.” There seems to be a slight stigma around foot fetishes, but why? Our feet are another part of our bodies that we should love and enjoy.

Start with a foot massage to get you into the mood. Once you start feeling a little more comfortable, you can incorporate your foot fetish into sex. If you and your partner are comfortable, start licking and sucking their feet and toes. This can be a pleasurable act for both parties and a great addition to your sex life.

5. Bondage

Bondage is a common kink, evident in the 100 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey sold in 2014. Bondage’s allure comes from the exciting adrenaline rush of being tied up with the bonus of a blindfold. Bondage can be as intense or tame as you feel comfortable with. It can involve soft ties or ropes and complicated positions. It all depends on your preference.

Being tied up can feel exciting and raunchy. However, you may enjoy the feeling of dominance and control. The bondage kink represents a consensual power exchange, and you can experiment with power dynamics.

The key to being comfortable and feeling able to explore bondage is communication. Take your time and start slowly. For example, start with a blindfold and work your way toward cable ties, handcuffs, and ropes.

By starting slow, communicating with your partner, and creating a comfortable environment to explore your kinks, you’ll feel more confident. In the diverse world of sexual desires, preferences, and fantasies, there is plenty to explore.

You’re good to go as long as everyone is on the same page, consensual, and open-minded. Beginning the journey of kink and sexual discovery is exciting, so have fun!

Want To Explore Some More? Try DoubleList! 

Kinks are incredibly popular in the dating scene. If you want a dating site that connects you with like-minded people, then DoubleList is for you! DoubleList is a platform that lets you post personal ads and connect with singles in your local area. Want to explore kink for beginners in real life and explore with open-minded people? Sign up today!

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