Degradation Kink: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Yes, degradation can be hot — when done properly and in the right context. When it makes you feel good to feel bad, then you’re a good-for-nothing pervert with a degradation kink. (See what I did there?) How does degradation cause sexual arousal? Can the practice of degrading somebody for sexual pleasure be taken too far? How does the practice affect relationship roles inside and outside the bedroom? If you or your partner finds being shamed and diminished titillating, you’re welcome to indulge your kink here so keep reading.
What Is a Degradation Kink?
To be degraded is to be treated with contempt or disrespect; to be cheapened, humiliated, or devalued; to be made to feel worthless. A degradation kink, therefore, means being sexually aroused by degrading words or actions directed towards you. People with this kink typically enjoy playing a submissive role in a sexual situation and having a partner who takes full control.
A degradation kink is the exact opposite of a praise kink — a kink that delivers arousal and gratification through adulation and affirmation. However, the two may also go hand in hand, i.e., a person may enjoy getting spanked and being told they’re very, very bad, and then being praised for behaving or performing well afterward.
What Causes a Degradation Kink: The Psychology Behind This Kinky Pleasure
Many types of kinks and fetishes are considered taboo within the context of real life, and it is precisely this aspect of being forbidden that makes kinks and fetishes an exciting indulgence. In real-life situations, we know that any form of degradation is wrong. Being sexually objectified, being called worthless, a bitch, a whore, or a fucktoy is unacceptable. Degradation kink, on the other hand, derives pleasure from the inherent wrongness. In sexual situations, engaging in this otherwise abhorrent behavior can make arousal and pleasure more intense because it is a “sinful” and, therefore, empowering experience. It’s the it-feels-good-to-be-bad cliche. According to a Sexual Health Alliance article, the critical factors that changes degradation from being “an act of bullying to a source of pleasure” are context and consent. “The difference between what you are comfortable with in the bedroom versus in a real life or public scenario entirely depends on consent and the element of choice. Sexual objectification and degradation are not okay at all in real life, but they can be okay in the bedroom.”
Is It Bad to Want to Hear You’re Bad?
So it’s not bad to want to hear you’re bad or be degraded in any other way as long as you consent to it because you derive pleasure from it during sex. At the same time, it’s important to establish rules and boundaries to keep yourself safe and make yourself and your partner feel comfortable when engaging in degradation kink.
Things can easily go too far in the heat of the moment; a simple act or comment can ruin the moment in the blink of an eye or even cause genuine physical or emotional harm. Open communication and advanced planning are essential before engaging in any form of degradation. Make sure you have safe words for when you want to slow things down, if your partner needs to ease back a little, or if you want to stop completely. Likewise, make sure that your partner is comfortable in the role you want them to play; find out what their own limits are and respect these limits.
Aftercare, typically in the form of praise kink, is often an essential part of degradation kink. This serves to deliver reassurance and reinforce feelings of safety and respect.
When a Kink Devolves Into a Disorder
There is a thin line between a degradation kink and sexual masochism, which involves sexual arousal at the thought or experience of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer. And one’s enjoyment of degradation can naturally evolve into an affinity for sexual masochism.
As is typical with any kind of kink, a desensitization level may be reached by an individual who would, then, require increasingly intense forms of their kink to achieve their desired level of satisfaction. So while sexual masochism may still be considered a safe sexual indulgence, it may also eventually develop into Sexual Masochism Disorder — a serious psychological condition that often involve “fantasies, urges, or behaviors that are distressing or disabling and have the potential to cause harm to oneself or others.”
Know the signs to watch out for and seek immediate help from a professional when necessary. It always helps to communicate honestly with your partner as they’re in the best position to understand what you’re going through and, therefore, give you the support you need.
Degradation Kink Examples
Degradation kink comes in many forms. Verbal degradation may include insults, mockery, or words of ridicule; physical degradation may include being spat on, spanked, slapped, ejaculated on, or urinated on. A lot of times verbal and physical degradation go together. Again, it’s crucial that you and your partner are on the same page and that you’re aware of each other’s boundaries. Establish what words, phrases, and acts are absolutely forbidden.
Ready to start exploring the world of degradation kink? Check out these degradation kink examples and talk to your partner about trying out some of them.
“See this? Use it. I don’t mind your trash mouth on here.”
Having your hair grabbed while going down on your partner and being yanked off and insulted for doing a poor job.
Being made to beg to suck/lick your partner.
Your partner commanding you to moan louder: “Louder, whore!”
“Get up, bitch! I wanna fuck your disgusting pussy.” And getting your ass spanked.
Being called a whore the whole time your partner is fucking you.
Your partner saying, “Get on the floor. I’ll tell you when to come.” Making you pleasure yourself while they watch.
“Finger yourself. You’re a slut, you know what to do.”
Now just… fuck yourself… rub your clit or whatever it is fuckdolls like you do.”
Handcuff and blindfold your partner and demand that he ejaculates while you slap his cock and balls.
Tell your bound boyfriend that you’re very disappointed in him because he can’t ejaculate on your command.
Tell your partner, while he’s helplessly tied up and blindfolded, that you’re taking photos so you can show your girlfriends how pathetic he is.
Make your husband wear ladies undergarments and take photos of him doing humiliating poses.
Make him ask for permission to do anything and don’t grant permission easily. Make him BEG.
Tie a pink velvet ribbon snugly around your husband’s balls.
How to Satisfy Your Degradation Kink Online
If you’re overdue for some well-deserved degradation but you’re all by your lonesome, you can satisfy your degradation kink with the help of an adult hookup site like DoubleList. Sign for a free and anonymous account to connect DoubleListers who are ready and eager to feed your sexual hunger with insults, scornful criticisms, expressions of disappointment, and malicious contempt.
You can have a safe space to indulge your degradation kink, or any other kink or fetish you may have, on DoubleList. Whatever your sexual preferences are, you’ll feel right at home on this widely popular adult personal site, where you’ll meet tons of like-minded individuals. If you’re up for an actual hookup, you can easily make arrangements with a DoubleLister near you and whose desires match yours.
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