Talking about the humiliation kink out loud can feel uncomfortable. But if you have a kink for feeling humiliated, you’ll be glad to know there are plenty of other people who share the same interests.
If you’re eager to find ways of exploring your dirty, shameful kink (see what we did there?), then you’ve come to the right place.
Defining Humiliation Kink: A Quick Explanation
Humiliation is feeling disgraced or degraded and experiencing shame. A humiliation kink or erotic humiliation is taking an embarrassing thing, word, or action and layering it with acceptance, appreciation and mutual enjoyment.
People with this kink are usually the submissives (or switches) in the bedroom.
Humiliation enthusiasts want their partner to take away their control and force them to do something they find revolting or unpleasant.
There’s more to the kink than just being submissive. You get to explore vulnerability, trust, control, and sacrifice with your partner.
The humiliation kink enthusiast’s psychological response is what makes things erotic. This makes this different from something like impact play, where spanking or paddling is the erotic trigger.
Debunking the Myths About Humiliation Kink – What It Is and What It Isn’t
As with any other kink, there are lots of misconceptions out there about humiliation kink. Let’s debunk the three main myths.
Do Only Insecure People Have a Humiliation Kink?
People believe two things:
- Only people with low self-esteem and confidence would allow someone to humiliate them.
- Those who want to humiliate others are cruel and hate their partners.
The truth is that having a high level of confidence is essential when engaging in humiliation kink. You know that you’re a smart, capable person—perhaps even a powerful CEO. Still, you get aroused when people tell you that you’re none of those things.
Is This Abuse and Non-Consensual?
It might feel like abuse to outsiders, but to the people exploring their humiliation kink, it’s a turn-on.
The intention of an abusive person is to bring down the other person. To shame them into feeling genuinely bad about themselves.
Humiliation play doesn’t leave any visible injuries, but safety, consent, and communication are always important. Pushing someone’s boundaries while exploring a humiliation kink is very different from being mean.
Is This Cruel, Brutal and Disrespectful?
People assume that a humiliation kink is to make the submissives feel bad and insulted. If you don’t have a humiliation kink, you’ll think it can be downright unpleasant.
After all, who wants to feel humiliated?
Erotic humiliation games have well-established boundaries and limits. Trust is an important factor while exploring this kink with your partner. You wouldn’t want a partner to feel unloved if you step over their boundaries, would you?
Is What I’m Doing Humiliating Enough?
You need to realize that everyone’s experience will be significantly different. Not every humiliating activity will work for everyone. It depends on the thinking of the participants.
What one person finds demeaning, another may be fine with it. There’s no exact formula for this. Every person needs to personalize their kink for themselves.
The idea of putting on a pink thong might feel humiliating to you, but it might be commonplace for someone else.
Intensity is another aspect of a humiliation kink.
How intensely do you want to react to the situation?
Do you want to feel embarrassed, humiliated, or degraded?
Talking about it with your partner beforehand helps make sure no one steps over the line.
Make up your own combinations of intensity, limitations, interests, style, and actions to find out what can turn you both on.
Is This Kink Humiliation or Degradation? Understanding Both Kinks
On the surface, humiliation and degradation seem like the same thing. Well, there are some key differences that you should know about before introducing either one of them to the bedroom.
Confused if you’re into humiliation or degradation? We’ve got you covered!
Humiliation Kink – A Light Face Slap
Having a humiliation kink means you only want to get humiliated in front of others.
Humiliation play is about finding the things that make you uncomfortable. The things that happen in the real world in a regular context would make you ashamed.
The person’s tone during play depends on the context, but a teasing lilt is best to humiliate the kinkster.
Degradation Kink – A Right Hook to the Jaw
You’ll know you have a degradation kink if your partner telling you degrading and insulting things turns you on.
You might also like it when people do degrading things to you. Examples include people spitting on you or telling you to lick the toilet bowl.
While erotic humiliation games mostly use a teasing, playful tone, people use a disgusted, cold-hearted tone for degrading others. Anything that makes you feel inferior to your partner falls under degradation kink.
Of course, after safely exploring any kink, aftercare is equally important. Make sure you know how to get your emotional needs met afterward.
Is Exploring My Humiliation Kink Good for Me?
If you answer yes to these three questions, you’ll know if what you’re doing is good for you or not.
- Did you and your partner mutually consent to explore the humiliation kink?
- Did this arouse you and get you to the highest peak of pleasure?
- Are you glad you tried it out?
I Have a Humiliation Kink – Now What?
Do you want to talk to your partner about it but don’t know how? Discussing any kink, praise kink, size kink, humiliation or otherwise can feel difficult.
You don’t know how the other person will react to your kink.
Don’t worry. We’re here to talk you through this.
The Art of Conversation: How to Schedule a Specific Time to Talk
When you want to talk about sex or kinks, give your partner a heads-up to make sure they’re in the correct frame of mind.
You could say something like:
- “Would you mind if I shared a sexual fantasy with you after dinner tonight?”
- “I’m feeling shy about some things that turn me on. Could I text you instead?”
- “Would you like to read an article about humiliation kink and discuss it with me afterward?”
- “Have you ever tried out the online BDSM test? I tried it out with my friends once. Want to hear about it?
Crystal Clear: How to Provide Specific Humiliation Examples for Maximum Impact
Try to provide specific humiliation examples of what you want or desire your partner to do.
If you find a scene in a book or movie hot, mention it to them and also add what you like or dislike about it.
For example:
- “It’s so hot how he’s calling her these names. My favorite is the way he called her ‘slut’ and a little whore.’ What do you think?”
- “The way she’s bossing him around and making him feel humiliated is so sexy. But I’m scared of this happening in public. Could we try this in the bedroom?”
- “See how he’s pulling her hair? That’s something I wouldn’t mind trying.”
Discuss what you want to experience from your humiliation kink before you get naked.
Surprising your partner with your kink in the middle of sex is a disaster waiting to happen.
Negotiate any specific terms, what’s off-limits, what’s super hot for you, and what’s a gray area. Be clear on how you’ll use the safe word if you need to.
If you’re in doubt, you can always use the traffic light colors but make sure you know what yellow means to you. Does it mean ease up on this act? Or don’t go any further?
Public Humiliation Kink – Indulging the Need To Be Seen
Many humiliation kink enthusiasts need someone to witness their humiliation before they can feel sexually aroused.
There are different levels of public humiliation kink you can try out. You could go to a public dungeon or kink events. Or you could go out in public and try something that doesn’t non-consensually involve others.
If your partner has this kink along with a foot fetish, you could make them smell your feet in a public park or give you a foot rub. The idea of others seeing that you enjoy being humiliated could be a major turn-on.
If wearing panties or thongs humiliates your partner, you could ask a lingerie store employee if there’s something available for your partner.
This also all depends on the level of intensity a humiliation kink enthusiast can enjoy.
Some want to feel intense shame. Others prefer embarrassing but playful and lighthearted scenarios. So, play around until you reach a fair compromise for what you both want.
Humiliation Kink Ideas – Time To Unlock Your ‘Shameful’ Fantasies
There are numerous ways of playing around with a humiliation kink. Some of them are:
- Dirty talk about past experiences
- Make them beg for an orgasm or a leash
- Use name-calling and teasing
- Treat them like human furniture
- Talk to them as if they’re a puppy, teach them tricks, play with dog toys, put them into a dog cage
- Walk around with signs around your neck
- Forcefully stimulate them and make them tell you their most humiliating sexual fantasy
- Refuse to let them touch themselves
- Tell them to eat their own cum
- Stand over them while they clean the toilet
Is There a Place to Explore a Humiliation Kink?
Besides kink and BDSM events, you can join online dating sites to meet singles and non-monogamous people. DoubleList is one such site that you can join anonymously.
Whatever you’re interested in, you’ll find it all on DoubleList. Simply post an ad, talk to others with similar interests, and enjoy indulging in your sexual fantasies. Join today!
