Going long-distance in a relationship is undoubtedly hard. You can no longer share physical intimacy and have to rely on talking over the phone all the time.
Even the strongest of partnerships can feel the strain of distance, which is why long-distance relationship problems are so common.
To keep your romantic relationship alive, read our guide below. We’re covering common issues that arise from being far from your partner and how to overcome them.
Common Long-Distance Relationship Problems
There’s no shame in recognizing that you’re struggling in your partnership. The average long-distance relationship lasts for just 4.5 months, so it feels like the odds are stacked against you. Here are some common long-distance relationship problems that plenty of couples face in the early days of being apart.
Communication Problems
Effective communication is a vital part of any relationship, especially long-distance. It’s easier to understand someone’s emotions in person. You can survey their body language and tone of voice. Over the phone, these key elements are lost, opening you both up to misunderstandings.
Having a lack of face-to-face interaction will eventually lead to frustration and hurt feelings unless you adapt your communication approach.
A Lack of Sex
Physical distance makes physical sex impossible – a big part of many relationships. While you can get creative and have phone sex or sexting sessions, it’s not quite the same as being physically intimate.
A lack of sexual intimacy can also create emotional distance, which makes it even harder to feel emotionally connected. The good news is that 14 million US couples are currently going long distance. They’ve all found innovative ways to get off that work for both partners, and you can too.
Jealousy Issues
Being apart for long periods will naturally lead to more insecurities about your partner and their social life. Concerns may arise about them spending time with others, causing friction. These feelings will often get worse if you can’t spend quality time together.
Drifting Apart
Long-distance couples may find themselves drifting apart over time unless they put the work in. Physical absence will eventually lead to a lack of shared experiences, making it easier for you to feel disconnected.
Different Life Paths
When you’re apart, you may start pursuing different life goals to your partner. This can lead to major uncertainty about the future and cause stress and strain on your relationship. If you don’t discuss your long-term plans regularly, you may not see a certain future with your partner.
Why Do Long-Distance Relationships Run Into Problems?
Long-distance relationships will start hitting roadblocks when neither partner puts effort into understanding the other. Here are some common reasons that these kinds of partnerships may start running into problems.
Not Spending Enough Time Together
Being physically apart makes it difficult to spend quality time with each other. While you can video or phone call every day, it might not be enough to keep a close bond. Not partaking in joint activities will likely lead to feeling lonely and isolated in your relationship.
Setting Unrealistic Expectations for Your Relationship
Some couples will enter into long-distance relationships with unrealistic expectations of what it will be. They might believe that it will feel the same as when they were regularly with their partner.
When the reality doesn’t meet expectations, extreme disappointment can set in. This will lead to resentment, and eventually, a breakdown of the relationship.
Not Managing Your Schedules
If you’re both busy with work or socially, it can be hard to find time to communicate. When both of you live in different time zones or have other commitments, it can be challenging to call. If neither partner is proactive in managing calls, communication will start to break down.
Pressure on Communicating
Every single conversation partners have when long distance feels crucial. Having this constant pressure and conversations can lead to both anxiety and forced communication. Both partners may avoid deep chats to prevent the conversation from turning sour.
Temptation To Play Away
For some, long-distance can make the temptation to cheat or go for a quick hook up stronger. A lack of sex and emotional connection can make partners turn to others in their local area.
This constant temptation will undoubtedly lead to trust issues and feelings of betrayal. For a healthy relationship to happen, both partners must be committed and honest with their partner.
How To Deal With Long-Distance Relationship Problems
Learning how to deal with long-distance relationship problems that arise will stop your partnership from turning sour. Having helpful coping mechanisms for conflict is a great first step when going long distance.
Setting Clear Expectations for Long-Distance
When you decide to give it a go with long-distance, you need to discuss your expectations straight away. Both of you need to understand what the other wants out of the relationship. For instance, are you both happy with the current setup, or do you want a time limit on long-distance?
Knowing what your partner needs and expects will help to keep the relationship alive, even during communication breakdowns. Discuss the toxic behaviors you want to avoid moving forward.
Prioritizing Daily Communication
Always make open and honest communication a priority. Set aside time each day to talk or video chat. Even short check-ins every day will help keep a strong romantic connection. Talking every day will help maintain your trust and bond.
Half of people in a long-distance relationship claim to be lonely, which doesn’t bode well for the relationship’s chances. Focusing on consistent chatting can prevent it from turning sour.
Focusing on Quality Time
When you do talk to each other, focus on the quality of your conversation, not how often you talk. Have meaningful conversations about your day, thoughts, and, most importantly, feelings. Sharing your experiences, no matter how small, will create more closeness between you.
Planning Visits Far in Advance
You both need something to look forward to, so you should schedule visits as often as you can. Having an end in sight will help you both work through issues and see the bigger picture.
Chat about your travel plans and always make them a priority. Seeing each other in person will help alleviate some of the emotional distance you feel.
Building Trust To Reassure Your Partner
Trust is integral to any regular relationship, including long-distance. Chatting regularly about what you’re doing will help alleviate any fears about cheating.
Be honest and open about how you feel to build trust over time. Reassuring your partner will create a healthier relationship, even from afar.
Planning for the Future
To show your commitment, you should talk about the future and your plans regularly. Talk about when you close the distance rather than if. Having a timeline for the future will provide hope and motivation to keep going.
How To Fix Long-Distance Relationship Problems
If you’re having issues in your long-distance relationship, it doesn’t mean it’s over. You can salvage your partnership by learning how to fix long-distance relationship problems through some of the methods we discuss below.
Address Your Issues Head-On
Don’t ignore problems when they arise. You need to address any issues head-on to prevent any resentment from building up. Being open and honest about how you feel is integral to any long-distance relationship.
Make sure to approach any discussions about your relationship with empathy and understanding of where your partner is coming from. This will help you resolve any conflicts calmly and without judgment.
Reignite Your Spark
Planning fun virtual dates is a great way to keep the romance alive and remember why you’re with each other. Try watching movies or playing virtual games together. You could even have a virtual romantic dinner complete with candles.
Try surprising your partner with thoughtful gifts or messages to show how much you care. It’s all about finding creative and romantic ways to connect to keep each other emotionally fulfilled.
Make Time for Emotional Check-Ins
Try scheduling chats to talk about how you’re feeling. You need to be a safe person for your partner to talk to about anything, including insecurities. Understanding each other’s emotional states will help to strengthen your bond, even when apart.
Manage Your Expectations
It’s important to be realistic about where your relationship is going. You should understand that challenges will always arise, and you can’t expect every day to go smoothly. Managing your expectations when it comes to communication will help you both avoid disappointment.
Remember that being flexible and patient with your partner is essential for navigating and overcoming issues in your long-distance relationship.
FAQs
What are the common challenges in a long-distance relationship?
Common challenges people in long-distance relationships face include:
A lack of sex
Jealousy
Emotional distance
Struggling to make time to chat
Losing the spark
Not every couple separated by distance goes through these struggles. But it is common to struggle in the early days of long-distance. The most important thing is to be honest with each other.
Can distance destroy a relationship?
Distance will undoubtedly create challenges. But it doesn’t have to destroy your relationship. Effective communication and a mutual commitment to your partnership will help you both overcome obstacles.
Many couples can successfully navigate long-distance relationships and thrive with the right tools. You don’t have to let long-distance destroy what you have!
What is the hardest part of a long-distance relationship?
Many long-distance couples agree that the hardest part of being separated is a lack of physical intimacy. We’re not just talking about sex, though that plays a big part. They also miss touching, hugging, and kissing their partner.
Because of this lack of intimacy, couples may start to feel lonely and feel like they can’t connect deeply. Building emotional intimacy can also be a challenge when you’re apart for a long time.
What does an unhealthy long-distance relationship look like?
An unhealthy long-distance relationship normally involves a lack of trust and constant jealousy. Your partner may always want to know where you are and might excessively call when you don’t reply. You feel like you don’t have any personal space, even when you’re apart.
If one partner feels more unsupported and neglected than the other, it can lead to emotional distance. They might start manipulating the other to get what they want. However, you should never ignore coercion and control – it will only get worse. If you want to salvage your relationship, licensed therapists might be able to help.
Can a couple survive a long-distance relationship?
Of course! Couples can survive long distances, though this won’t come without struggles. You both need to be dedicated and communicate properly to maintain your connection. When problems in a long-distance relationship do arise, you need to be proactive in resolving them.
If the problems seem too great and you can’t talk to each other without arguing, it might be time to quit. These issues will likely affect your relationship when you’re together, too.
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