Is anxiety part of your daily routine? Anxiety is, unfortunately, a very common experience for lots of people. Plus, it can impact so many parts of life! One aspect of life that it can negatively affect is dating. Of course, going on first dates is always nerve-racking. But at what point is it dating anxiety?
Dating anxiety refers to worries surrounding meeting new people and making connections in the dating world. Trembling and sweating are just two common symptoms of it. It can be all-encompassing! If you feel like you might be suffering from it, don’t worry! We have some tips to help you navigate your feelings. Are you ready to find out more?
Dating Anxiety: What Is It?
Dating anxiety means that you feel stressed when you are with someone. Can you remember excessively sweating on a first date? Or were your hands trembling under the table? These feelings are quite common, especially when you don’t know someone very well.
However, this type of anxiety can strike at any point. From worrying about being embarrassed to your date not liking you, there are lots of issues that come into play.
Anxiety and dating can go hand in hand. It can get quite stressful. You might find the concept of dating hard if you already have a social anxiety disorder. Plus, if you’ve had bad experiences or trauma in the past, it’s bound to stick around. Sometimes, anxiety comes from the feeling of fearing rejection or embarrassment. Plus, you might find dating as an introvert hard!
How Anxiety Affects Relationships
The bad news is that anxiety can play a big part in the dating experience. “How can anxiety affect relationships?” you may ask. For everyone in the relationship, anxiety can leave its mark. It can also cause other feelings as a result, and it’s not easy for either person.
Below, we discuss some of the impacts of anxiety in a relationship.
1. Overly Dependent on Others
A lot of anxious people are sometimes quite overly dependent and need constant reassurance. This is usually due to a fear of rejection. An anxious dater might call their partner a lot or reach out to check if they still feel the same. This can become quite overwhelming for the other person, especially if nothing’s changed.
2. Avoidant Behaviour
If you struggle with anxiety, you might sometimes find it easier to avoid situations altogether. For example, pushing people away might feel like the better option. This way, you don’t need to face the facts or deal with an awkward confrontation. This can cause a lot of confusion for the other person, and they might not know how to act.
3. Negative Impact on Intimacy
According to the Cleveland Clinic, stress and anxiety go hand in hand with a low libido. A low sex drive can impact you and your partner as intimacy might slip. You might even worry about your sexual performance and feel too in your own head to enjoy the moment!
Anxiety can have a detrimental impact on a relationship with a romantic partner. How long you’ve been together doesn’t come into play here. Dating with anxiety can be challenging and can affect a person at any stage of a relationship.
Anxiety About a New Relationship
Are you in the early stages of dating someone and experiencing anxiety or stress? Anxiety about a new relationship is common, especially if you worry about social situations already. Here are some reasons why anxiety in the early days can occur.
1. A Fear of Rejection
Are you worried the other person might not find you interesting or attractive? Anxiety disorders can make people expect the worst, and this is a common worry. Maybe you and the person met on a dating app or site. You might worry about their expectations being different and you not being able to live up to them. This can happen with all potential partners.
2. A Fear of Embarrassment
Sometimes, people with anxiety worry about feeling embarrassed. They overthink a situation before they’re even there, worrying about saying the wrong thing. This is quite common for people with anxiety, and it can really make them second-guess themselves. Or, they might not even show up at all.
3. Unrealistic High Expectations
Setting unrealistic high expectations can easily put too much pressure on a situation. If you don’t live up to the expectations you’ve set, you’ll probably end up feeling deflated. Or, it might even lead to feelings of inadequacy and make your anxiety spiral.
How To Calm Dating Anxiety
If you’re thinking of dating but you suffer from anxiety, fear not! Here are some tips for how to calm dating anxiety.
1. Stay in the Moment
Expectations are never a good idea! This is simply because things never go to plan! It’s very easy to get deflated, so try to take off the pressure! Try to go with the flow, and don’t worry too much about what might happen.
2. Take the Pressure Off Yourself
We all do embarrassing things sometimes, so try to laugh at yourself rather than worry! We’re all human, and it’ll always seem worse in your own head. If you embarrass yourself on your date, it’s likely that they won’t even notice anyway!
3. Do Some Breathing Exercises
Breathing deeply can help to slow your heart rate down and relax you. Just do a big inhale for four seconds, hold it for seven, and release for eight. You can even do this on a date if you’re subtle! Or, just pop to the toilets and do it there incognito!
4. Use Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Techniques
CBT techniques can work well for anxiety! You can actually use them to train your brain to think a certain way. In relation to dating anxiety, you can interrupt a negative thought of rejection. Alter how you feel about things by thinking all will go well. Or, make an effort to think about your positive traits for a confidence boost.
5. Do Some Relaxation Techniques
Try to relax your mind by doing activities that’ll calm you down. For example, journal and get your thoughts down on paper. Blast your music and have a dance. Or, sink into a hot bath, unwind, or lead a healthy lifestyle. These little activities can help you relax, even if they are only for the short term. You’ll notice the beneficial impact.
Tips for Dating Someone With Anxiety
Is your partner struggling with an anxiety disorder? There are ways to make them feel more comfortable. Here are some tips for dating someone with anxiety:
- Be patient and allow them the time to digest how they feel.
- Learn more about anxiety and its triggers. Get to know your partner’s past more, and try to understand where their anxiety comes from.
- Be understanding of how they feel and reassure them if they’re worried.
- Join in with the relaxation or deep breathing techniques to show your support.
- Plan some cute date ideas to make them happy.
- Celebrate small wins and acknowledge your partner’s progress.
- Look after yourself and make sure your well-being is OK, too.
Ready To Give Dating a Go? Try DoubleList!
If you’re struggling with dating anxiety, the open-minded nature of DoubleList will appeal to you. You can ease yourself in with your personal ad and browse for some connections. You can use your ad to dive into dating and state exactly what you’re looking for. Open your heart and mind to dating, and sign up for DoubleList today!
