13 Foreplay Tips to Spice up the Bedroom

Doublelist Team

August 8, 2023 11 minutes read
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Foreplay is essential for having great sex. Without sexually stimulating your body beforehand, intercourse can feel flat and sometimes even anticlimactic. Ready to spice up your bedroom antics? In this article, we’ll cover 13 foreplay tips for a better sex life. 

Foreplay Tips for Women

Are you a woman that wants to boost your foreplay performance? You’re not alone. Most foreplay lasts for just 10 minutes, while both men and women report wanting at least 20 minutes of action.

So, what are the best ways to improve intimacy and set the mood for genital intercourse? This all depends on you and your partner’s sexual fantasies and kinks. For instance, some couples may prefer sensual foreplay techniques, while others may want to delve into sexy roleplay ideas. 

Here are five foreplay tips for women looking to improve pre-sex intimacy. 


Foreplay Tips 1: Set the Mood

Creating an intimate atmosphere is the first and most important step of mind-blowing foreplay. Start by dimming the lights, using scented candles and playing soft and sensual music to create a romantic ambience. This is what’s known as emotional foreplay. 

Looking for foreplay tips to start a more raunchy sexual experience? Wear provocative and revealing underwear. Choose music with a more domineering feel – think Rihanna or Beyonce. Take control of the moment. 

Foreplay Tips 2: Take It Slow To Build Anticipation

Good foreplay is all about teasing and anticipation. Rushing into things can make the sex feel stunted and forced. Try to take your time exploring your partner’s body and connecting with them emotionally, not just physically. Do this by using these all-important foreplay tips: 

  • Start gently kissing and caressing your partner’s neck, chest, and lower stomach. Take your time to build anticipation. 

  • To spice things up, use handcuffs or tie your partner to the bed frame using a tie or scarf. Use a blindfold to keep your partner waiting in the dark. 

  • Give your partner a striptease. Take it slow by gently taking off your clothes in front of them to keep the anticipation building. 

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Foreplay Tips 3: Touch and Caress Your Partner

Foreplay is all about touch. It gives you time to not only connect with your partner physically but emotionally through gentle caresses. Here are some foreplay tips for physical touch during foreplay: 

  • Begin with soft and gentle touches to help your partner relax and become more receptive to your touch.

  • Don’t focus solely on the erogenous zones. Explore your partner’s entire body with your hands, paying attention to areas like the back, arms, legs, and stomach.

  • Mix up your touch by varying the pressure, from feather-light strokes to firmer caresses. This creates different sensations and keeps things interesting.

  • Your fingertips are sensitive and can provide a delicate touch, perfect for exploring your partner’s body carefully. 

  • Use your fingers to trace patterns on your partner’s skin, such as circles, spirals, or zigzags. This can be both relaxing and arousing.

  • Observe your partner’s reactions and listen to their verbal cues. Everyone’s preferences differ, so adjust your touch depending on their responses.

Foreplay Tips 4: Use Oral Stimulation

When you think of foreplay, you likely think of oral stimulation. It’s perhaps the most stimulating part of pre-sex, preparing you for vagina intercourse. 

Let’s take a look at some oral sex foreplay tips: 

  • Begin with gentle kisses and caresses around the genitals to build anticipation and arousal.

  • Gently blowing warm air or breathing softly on your partner’s intimate areas can create tingling sensations and heighten arousal.

  • Vary your oral stimulation, including using different tongue patterns, speeds, and pressures, to find what feels best for your partner. Ensure you communicate throughout to discover what’s the most arousing. 

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Foreplay Tips 5: Engage in Dirty Talk

Engaging in dirty talk can be a highly arousing and intimate experience for both parties. It transports you into the sex zone, priming your body for the main event. Find out your partner’s turn-ons. For instance, do they have a mommy fetish or like to be tied up? Learn this before starting dirty talk. 

Some foreplay tips for dirty talk include: 

  • Paint vivid mental images with your words to describe your desires, fantasies, and what you find attractive about your partner.

  • Use dirty talk to compliment your partner’s appearance, express your attraction, and praise their sensuality.

  • Share your sexual fantasies and desires with your partner through dirty talk. This can lead to a deeper understanding and connection between you both. 

Foreplay Tips for Men

Foreplay is just as crucial for men as it is for women. Diving straight into sex without warming up with sensual touch can make it less satisfying in the long term. Your partner’s desires can be challenging to decipher, so communicate effectively before deciding on your technique. 

Here are our top five foreplay tips for men looking to boost their sex lives. 

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Foreplay Tips 6: Experiment With Massage

Experimenting with massage during foreplay can be an exciting way to connect with your partner. It helps to relax their body and mind and build intimacy. We recommend using lotion. Apply a small amount of massage oil or lotion to your hands to create a smooth and sensual touch. Warm the oil or cream in your hands before applying it to your partner’s body.

Use these foreplay tips for experimenting with massage:

  • Begin with soft and gentle strokes to help your partner unwind and ease any muscle tension.

  • Massage various parts of your partner’s body, not just the prominent areas. Pay attention to their back, shoulders, arms, legs, and feet.

  • Incorporate different massage techniques, such as effleurage (long, gliding strokes), kneading, circular motions, and tapping, to create other sensations.

Foreplay Tips 7: Build Tension

Building tension during foreplay can be a thrilling way to create anticipation and intensify the sexual experience. Think of it like edging – you’re adding the building blocks of sexual anticipation. 

Here are some foreplay tips for building tension in the bedroom: 

  • Engage in playful teasing and flirting throughout the day or evening to build sexual anticipation. 

  • During foreplay, use lingering touches and caresses to heighten the sense of desire and longing.

  • Whisper seductive words, fantasies, or compliments in your partner’s ear to create excitement.

  • Maintain intense eye contact during foreplay to deepen the emotional connection and increase the sense of intimacy.

  • Slow down the pace of foreplay and resist rushing into the main event. Delaying gratification can intensify pleasure.

Foreplay Tips 8: Focus on Erogenous Zones

Focusing on erogenous zones during foreplay can be a powerful way to heighten arousal and pleasure. Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to touch and can elicit sexual responses. Women, in particular, have a lot of erogenous zones that can build sexual tension. Experiment with your partner to find their hottest spots. 

Here are some foreplay tips for finding the erogenous zones: 

  • Nipples: Pay attention to the nipples by gently touching, licking, or sucking on them. Some people find nipple stimulation incredibly pleasurable.

  • Breasts: Caress, massage, or gently squeeze the breasts to add sensual pleasure during foreplay.

  • Lower Abdomen: Run your fingers softly along the lower abdomen, leading toward the pelvic area, to build anticipation and arousal.

  • Clitoral Area: For women, the clitoral area is susceptible. Use gentle circular motions or light strokes to stimulate this region.

  • Anus: If both partners are comfortable, light touching or licking around the anus can be pleasurable for some individuals.

Foreplay Tips 9: Use Your Voice

Using your voice during foreplay can add an extra layer of intimacy and arousal to the experience. Verbal communication and vocalization can enhance the emotional connection between partners and heighten pleasure. 

Here are some foreplay tips for integrating your voice into pre-sex. 

  • Use seductive and erotic language to express your desires, fantasies, and what you want to do to each other. Ensure you’re both comfortable with dirty talk before proceeding. 

  • Make vocal cues of pleasure to show your partner that you enjoy the experience. It can be incredibly arousing to hear your partner’s pleasure. However, don’t fake noises – this can be obvious to your partner. 

  • As you touch and caress your partner, describe the sensations they evoke in you. For instance, tell them how soft their skin feels or how much they enjoy the foreplay as it progresses.  

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Foreplay Tips 10: Try Sex Toys

Incorporating sex toys into foreplay can add excitement and extra stimulation to your sex life. However, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner about introducing sex toys. Ensure both partners are comfortable and enthusiastic about trying them. There are plenty of sex toy options out there, from vibrators to nipple stimulators. 

Here are some foreplay tips for couples looking to try sex toys for the first time. 

  • Consider shopping for sex toys together as a fun and intimate experience. This can help you explore options and choose a toy that appeals to both of you.

  • If you’re new to using sex toys, start with something small and simple. Gradually introduce more complex toys as you become more familiar with their usage.

  • Incorporate a water-based lubricant to enhance comfort and pleasure during toy play.

  • Use sex toys to complement other forms of foreplay. Use a vibrator to stimulate erogenous zones or a couple’s toy during kissing and touching.

Best Foreplays Tips for Men and Women

Foreplay is a bonding experience between a couple. The key is communication and an openness to try new things. While sex is often the “main event”, foreplay is just as essential – particularly for women. In one survey, only 40% of women reach orgasm during sex with 1 to 10 minutes of foreplay. Meanwhile, when couples engage in foreplay for over 20 minutes, over 60% can climax. 

Clearly, foreplay builds the foundation for both partners to reach a happy ending. Let’s look at the best foreplay tips for men and women. 

Foreplay Tips 11: Practice Open Communication

Everyone is different. Sexual desires are unique to everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another.

One of our foreplay tips is to practice open communication is key. Without talking to your sexual partner about your desires, you could be in for a disappointing experience. Try communicating before having sex to find out what the other likes. This may open you up to a more exhilarating experience. 

Foreplay Tips 12: Use Your Hands

Most pleasure comes from touch. Use soft and gentle strokes with your hands to explore your partner’s body. Start with the back, shoulders, and arms, and gradually move to more sensitive areas. These foreplay tips will help you to feel more sexually stimulated. 

Foreplay Tips 13: Focus on the Whole Body

One of the best foreplay tips is to focus on the whole body during foreplay. It is a successful way to build intimacy, arousal, and excitement. Exploring various areas and treating the entire body as an erogenous zone creates a more fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experience. 

Engage in intimate mutual touch while kissing and touching, creating a more profound sense of connection. Use your fingers or lips to trace patterns on your partner’s skin, like circles or spirals, to tease and arouse.

Fantasy Foreplay Tips You Haven’t Tried

Looking for fantasy foreplay tips you haven’t tried? Try roleplay! Talk with your partner about your desires and boundaries. This ensures that both of you are comfortable and enthusiastic about the roleplay activities you want to try. 

Throughout your roleplay, express your love and appreciation for your partner. Verbal affection and compliments can enhance the emotional connection and make the fantasy feel more natural. 

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