The ending

I've always been closeted bisexual but early on in my first marriage I tried to be "faithfully straight" and rarely had chances to have sex with men and after each time I'd be buried under shame and guilt. Nearing the ten year mark of our marriage I'd begun to relax a bit as I discovered how easy it was to find men who were open to discrete public encounters. I still felt guilt and shame but knew that meeting secretly with men for sex was something that was a deep urge I'd had ever since the first time I had sex with my neighbor boy. Over the last few years I found I often couldn't resist the lust I felt when I noticed some man obviously cruising some public place. It often left me dissatisfied and ashamed but I loved the hot nasty excitement of following a man down a back pathway or to a mens room in an odd spot of the large local mall. I'd let myself go to those places more often always looking for men to have sex with. I'd come to accept that even if the man wouldn't reciprocate and get me off I didn't mind because I loved sucking cock and swallowing cum. One Christmas about 10 years in my father in law flew the entire family to Hawaii. Everyone except me. I was fine with that and enjoyed the 2 plus weeks to myself. An evening or two after they left I went to hitchhike to a friends house to get high. I got a lift but he was only going part way and when I said I was going to smoke some pot he said he had some good stuff and invited me to come in for a bit. We smoked and chatted and as I usually did I started to get horny and even though he'd given me no signals, at some point he was standing in his front room and I stepped close behind him. We were almost touching and when he didn't move away I moved closer so my body was touching his and when he just got quiet I reached around him and put my hand over his crotch. We were both silent and as I started to squeeze and rub him he didn't try to stop me and when I had both my hands on him he just shifted to help me get handpants open and unzipped and I felt him lean back against me as I slid my hand under his clothes and wrapped my fingers around his tool. He was only starting to swell but I soon had it fully erect in the quiet room. He took my hand away and said he really needed to eat something since he had nothing all day. After a little while he came back to the front room where I quickly had him mostly naked and was on my knees. We went to his bedroom where we made out and 69d and took each other to the edge a few times. I loved being naked with him and sucking his cock and he asked me a few times if I was really married. I was showing him what a cocksucker I was and it seemed like he couldn't believe I was married to a woman. They were away for almost 3 weeks and after a couple of days I called him and asked if he wanted to get together again. We got together almost every other day and I could tell he liked the sex and I definitely did too. It was the first time in my life that I got to be with a man in the privacy of his home. I loved being able to be openly sexual with him and let him see what a horny cock slut I could be. We didn't fuck but we got together and each time we made sure we both came. After the family got back we saw each other a few times but it just stopped pretty soon. But while the family was away I realized we both weren't happy with things and I'd realized that meeting secretly with men for sex was something I really liked and wanted. After hooking up a few times at rest areas I told my wife about a month after they got back that I wanted to leave. She agreed and thanked me. So after a few months of depression, I started to connect with more men than I ever had