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Hookups: Easy, Exciting, and Fun — Exactly the Way They Should Be

Easy, exciting, and fun — this is the kind of hookup experience that everyone wants. When you’re just looking for something casual, you want your search to go smoothly and to deliver satisfaction! With tons of hookup sites and hookup apps available, there’s definitely plenty of fish in the sea; all you have to do is cast your net, wade in, dive in, swim, splash around, or whatever works best to get you hooked up!

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What is a Hookup?

If you’re still a bit fuzzy about what a hookup is exactly, we’re here to give you a clearcut, no-beating-around-the-bush definition. A hookup is two (or more) individuals meeting up for casual sex. There can be some drinks and flirting involved as part of foreplay, but there is always a definite understanding between the parties involved that a sexual encounter is the main objective — with no strings attached, although some casual cuddling may be allowed.

More often than not, the expectation of nothing else but sex is explicitly expressed and agreed upon, especially if those involved are hooking up for the first time. For the occasional or regular hookup partners, the no-expectations expectation is already a given every time they engage in their casual encounters.

Hookups can occur between friends, acquaintances, or strangers. A couple can hookup with another couple, or a single individual. Hookups are also not limited to single adults; people in relationships or those who are married amy also engage in discreet sexual encounters. And the options for sexual partners are wide and varied: w4m, m4w, w4w, m4m, c4w, c4m, and so on.

Hookup apps, hookup websites, and casual dating sites have made hookup culture more popular and convenient than it has ever been. If this is something that excites you and you’re eager to explore the tantalizing possibilities hookup culture offers, then keep reading and check out the wild and sensual pleasures that DoubleList has on the menu.

How to Find Hookups?

Hookups are all about keeping things casual. No complicated strings. No expectations — except having mutual pleasure and satisfaction, of course! Finding somebody who’s looking for the same thing you are can be tricky, however. You’ve probably already visited your fair share of hookup sites and tried out some hookup apps on your quest to find a magical place that will make all your hookup fantasies come true. It’s ludicrous, we know! Casual dating should be easy peasy!

You can say goodbye to your unsuccessful attempts to score with a stranger at a club or a bar. Say “Hasta la vista” to those last-minute booty calls with your ex (unless you still want them, then don’t delete that number!). Lucky for you, DoubleList will help you get lucky any time you’re in the mood for casual dating and hookups! Say hello to all the hot action you’ll find on the only hookup site you’ll ever need — DoubleList!

How to Hookup?

In a perfect world, two people lock eyes with each other and make an instant connection. They engage in casual chitchat while nursing their drinks, both of them knowing without either one of them saying a word where the night will eventually lead. After having fun between the sheets, they part ways, happy and satisfied. It’s a classic hookup story that many wish were an easy experience to have any time the mood strikes.

There are as many ways to hook up as there are hookup sites and dating apps out there. You can find sites that are dedicated to hookups and casual dating — no more, no less. If you want to know how to hook up, you simply sign up for an account, complete your profile, and immediately start browsing through your options. The easy part ends here, unfortunately.

Finding hookup success remains a challenge for many. So is there a right way and wrong way to hook up? How do you maximize your chances of success?

Tips to Hitch a Casual Date Like a Pro

You don’t need a wingman/woman to score a hookup. Here are some words to the wise to help you get your game on.

  • Be confident about what you want. Be honest and vocal about what you want to make the most of the experience.

  • Make sure you're on the same page. Figure out expectations and limitations ahead of time. 

  • Find out what the other person’s sexual health status is, and be ready to provide the same information. 

  • Don't lead people on. Don't mess around with people who are looking for more than something casual.

  • Ensure mutual respect. 

  • Ensure mutual satisfaction.

How to Prepare for a Hookup?

So you’ve scored a casual date! Congratulations! Now, you have to prepare for your hookup. Keep the following in mind to guarantee an immensely pleasurable and satisfying experience for you and your partner.

Make sure you have everything you need

Whether you’re hooking up with a particular person for the first time or it’s a follow-up encounter, always follow this rule: Better to have it than not need it, than need it and not have it. We’re talking about condoms, lube — stock up on different kinds to keep things interesting — and, erm, other “bells and whistles” you enjoy. In case you’re meeting up for a drink first, always assume that you might end up at your place, and this means it should be neat and comfortable enough for whatever the night may bring.

Keep things light but interesting

Never forget that hookups are supposed to be casual, but casual doesn’t mean boring. Don’t overthink it. If you’re diving right into the main attraction which requires minimal exchange of words, then you have nothing to worry about in terms of conversation topics. If you do have to engage in some small talk prior to the main event, don’t overthink it and don’t dig deep. But keep things interesting, of course.

Flirting, teasing, and talking dirty are great foreplay, whether you’re chatting online or hanging out and drinking at a bar. If you need some light-grade conversation, you can ask generic but personal questions like, “Where did you grow up?” or “What’s your favorite movie?” You can share the same info about yourself. Anything that keeps the conversation going and which doesn’t demand any emotional response is safe. Absolutely avoid anything more personal. If you must meet up somewhere else first, a bar with loud/live music is your best bet. No movies, dinner, museums, or anything that will mean spending more than an hour together doing things other than actually hooking up!

Establish expectations and don’t go overboard

We can’t stress enough the fact that you must keep things casual, and this is especially important for first-time hookups, i.e., you and the other person/s have not had a casual encounter before. In such a case, your foreplay may include a titillating and light talk regarding your expectations and limitations. If there’s a specific kink or fantasy you really want to indulge, it’s best to find out right away if the other person is up for it; otherwise, establish your baseline comfort levels and don’t go beyond them. Unless it has been explicitly agreed upon by everyone involved, you must not test-drive your BDSM fantasy or anything similar during a first-time hookup!

What Comes After and How to Text Someone After a Hookup

Mutual satisfaction has been achieved. What’s next? Here are a few quick tips for a breezy and comfortable exit.

  • Don’t linger in bed and, if you’re the guest, don’t stay too long in the person’s place either. Both of you can spend a few minutes catching your breath, and then get into the end-of-hookup ritual of “That was great” and if you want to suggest a repeat of your sexcapade, “Maybe we can do this again some time.” Quietly slipping out as soon as the other person falls asleep is also okay. It’s always best to part ways as soon as possible. 

  • Messaging the other person after a hookup is not necessary, unless you want to maintain a casual sexual relationship with them. Be direct and ask them if they’re cool with keeping things casual. Make it clear that it’s no big deal if they’re not up for it. Make sure you’re on the same page in case the two of you make plans for future hookups. 

  • If your casual, no-strings sexcapades last longer than a few months, you can set more specific rules for your “relationship.” 

  • Don’t text/message the other person unless you want to engage in some online foreplay and to set your next sexcapade. 

  • Always expect things to end with no warning. Casual dating typically ends this way. 

  • If you’re actually acquaintances and have common friends, don’t make things weird while you’re casually dating and when your “relationship” meets its natural end. Avoid doing anything that will make the other person uncomfortable. Don’t announce your “Hooking up with” relationship status on social media. Don’t expect or ask for a sit-down and emotional conversation about where your relationship is going or when the other person decides to move on to other possibilities out there. 

Need more insights about hookup culture? Check out these frequently asked questions to help you become a pro at keeping things casual and juicy but mellow.

What does a hookup mean to a girl?

Hookups are explicitly understood to be nothing more than having sex. But for some girls, some forms of intimacy and long foreplay may be expected, such as having a drink first, kissing, and even cuddling (until they fall asleep, at which point you can quietly slip away). Sleeping over may also part of a regular arrangement, but having coffee and/or breakfast the next morning should be avoided as much as possible.

How can I get a free hookup?

Check out free hookup sites, such as DoubleList, where hooking up is always the ultimate goal and only expectation. But keep in mind that some encounters may require a bit more effort — and by that, we mean fulfilling some kinks or fantasies, but only if you’re also into them.

How do hookups work?

On most hookup websites, and especially on DoubleList, hookups typically involve finding an individual with the same sexual interests/inclinations; engaging in some hot, juicy, and dirty talk; perhaps meeting up first in a public place to make sure the person is who they say they are; and then engaging in your sexual encounter. Keep in mind that hookups are purely sexual in nature. Intimacy and romance are usually not part of the arrangement. Most hookups are a one-time encounter, but some can develop into casual flings. Hookups are also usually discreet, whether they’re one-night stands or something more.

What should you not do during a hookup?

Here’s a list of what you must not do during a hookup:

  • Going in without establishing expectations. 

  • Not having protection. 

  • Asking questions and/or offering information that’s too personal. 

  • Doing something you’re not comfortable with. 

  • Trying something different or what may be considered unconventional or even extreme without prior agreement with the other person. 

  • Only thinking about your needs and pleasure. 

How long do casual hookups last?

The life expectancy of a healthy, casual hookup, is typically anywhere between a few weeks and three months. If it goes beyond three or four months, you may have to have a talk about where your “relationship” may be going. Or you can decide to just end it yourself. If both of you do decide to keep engaging in no-strings sex, then you should some set rules. Should you have a regular hookup schedule? Do you need to inform the other person if you’re in a serious relationship and vice versa? Do you want your casual relationship to remain on the down-low?

Does a hookup mean kissing?

A hookup usually involves kissing, but goes farther than kissing. Hooking up means having engaging in casual sex, whether it’s a one-time thing or a regular occurrence that could last a few weeks or months with zero complications and attachment.

Is a hookup a one-time thing?

A one-night stand is considered a hookup, but not all hookups are one-night stands.

Are casual hookups healthy?

Having your sexual needs fulfilled without the complications of a relationship is healthy. Keep in mind, however, that if you’re engaging in casual hookups with multiple partners, always make sure you’re practicing safe sex and only do things you’re comfortable with. Set rules for yourself, and set another set of rules for your hookup partner/s.

What are the rules of hooking up?

  • Always be prepared, i.e., always have a condom handy. 

  • Find out the other person’s sexual health status. 

  • If you met the person online, arrange a meet up at a public place first to verify their identity and, perhaps, even gauge their character and your sexual chemistry. 

  • Watch your drink. 

  • Establish expectations. 

  • Ensure mutual pleasure and satisfaction. 

  • Don’t get too intimate. 

  • Don’t get attached. 

  • Expect the hookup to be a one-time thing; if it goes on for weeks or a few months, expect it to end without warning. 

What to do after hooking up

Quietly slipping away when the other person falls asleep is acceptable. If you’re the host, you can be direct and ask your guest to leave as soon as they have caught their breath. You may also let them know they can sleep over if your sexcapades involved some strenuous physical exertion. Texting/messaging the other person after hooking up is okay just to say you had a great time, or if you want to do it again.