You’ve dabbled in the world of sexy texts, and you’re ready to take things up a notch. Maybe you’ve seen steamy conversations online, or you’re already in a Dom/Sub relationship and want to explore your dynamic. Either way, if you’re getting curious about making your texts as tantalizing as possible, you’re in the right place!
Submissive texting is more than just sending a “Yes, Sir/ Ma’am” here and there. It’s all about building trust and respecting boundaries. That way, you can create a more electrifying connection with your partner. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve known them for years or you’re just starting to explore your Dom/Sub partnership.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know about submissive texting. We’ll go from the basics of Dom/Sub relationships to in-depth tips for keeping your texts spicy yet safe.
By the end, you’ll be a pro at sending dirty sexting messages that keep your Dom hooked and coming back for more. Let’s dive right in!
A Quick Guide to Dom/Sub Relationships
Before we get into the nitty gritty of submissive texts, we need to understand the foundation of Dom/Subs. Whether BDSM is already in your sex life or you’re a newbie, a refresher can help you navigate being submissive.
What Are Dom/Sub Relationships?
In a Dom/Sub relationship, one person (the Dom) takes on the dominant role. The other (the sub) assumes the submissive role. The Dom has all the power and sets the rules and expectations – the sub consents to follow them.
But don’t get it twisted – this isn’t about one person being better than the other. It’s all about mutual respect and trust. You both have a shared desire to explore a unique dynamic in a consensual way.
Why Trust and Consent Is All Important
Trust is the bedrock of any Dom/Sub partnership. The sub places complete trust in the Dom as long as they act responsibly. The Dom trusts the sub to talk openly about their limits and sexual desires.
Consent is an equally important part of a Dom/Sub-dynamic. Everything that happens, including submissive texting, should be consensual. Both parties should agree on what their roles are and the boundaries they put in place.
Why People Choose Dom/Sub Partnerships
All types of people love the excitement of Dom/Sub relationships. Some enjoy having clear roles in the bedroom. Others find power dynamics erotic. For some, it’s a way to explore their sexuality in a controlled environment. If done right, it’s a relationship that offers both deep emotional and sexual fulfillment.
What Is Submissive Texting?
Now you’re grasping what a Dom/Sub situation looks like; we can dive into the fine art of submissive texting. Think of submissive texts as an extension of your dynamic in the digital world. Whether you are single or not, it’s all about expressing how submissive you are through your words and tone as you communicate with your Dom.
Let’s take an even closer look at what submissive texting is and what it entails.
Language and Submission
Language is powerful, especially in submissive texting. The words you choose and the way you phrase your sentences can all contribute to improving your dynamic. Phrases like “Yes, Sir” or “I’m yours” can instantly set the tone for a sexy, submissive conversation.
Your tone should reflect your submissive role. This doesn’t mean you need to be overly formal all of the time. But, there should be a clear difference in how you communicate when you’re being submissive and not.
You might normally say something like, “What do you want to do tonight?” Instead, say, “What would you like me to do for you tonight, Sir/Ma’am?” when you’re being submissive.
The Power of Nonverbal Communication
Believe it or not, nonverbal communication plays a role when you’re texting, too. Using emojis, punctuation, and varying the length of sentences can convey your submission. For instance, using “…” at the end of your messages can indicate your anticipation. All this adds more depth to your submissive texts.
Using emojis like the “handcuffs” or the “bowing person’ can add playfulness and submissiveness to your messages. Just be mindful not to overdo it. Keep it subtle, and let the words carry the weight of your submissiveness.
Submissive Texting as Foreplay
Most Sub/Dom couples that know each other in person use submissive texting as a form of foreplay. This has been a popular kink for some time now. It lets you build anticipation for when you and your Dom are together in person. Think of it as laying the groundwork for the physical stuff later on.
The right dirty text messages can set the stage for a sexually exhilarating encounter, even if it’s weeks away.
How To Be Submissive in Text With a Stranger
Entering into submissive texting with a complete stranger can be thrilling. It requires a lot more finesse, as you want to express your submissiveness without coming on too strong. Here are some tips for how to be submissive in text with a stranger.
Start Slowly
When you’re texting someone new, you should start with light BDSM texts. Ease into the conversation with flirtatious but sexy texts that hint at your submissive side. You might say something like, “I love letting someone else take the lead.”
These kinds of messages wedge the door open to a more explicit conversation without overwhelming the Dom. If they’re into it, they’ll pick up on your cues and guide the conversation toward being kinky.
Gauge Their Intentions
Not everyone is into BDSM or Dom/Sub dynamics. It’s crucial that you gauge the other person’s interest before you dive into explicit texts. Pay attention to how they respond to your messages. Are they engaging in dominance and submission? Are they comfortable with the power dynamics you’re hinting at?
If they seem into it, try to gradually introduce more submissive language and fantasies into your text.
Establish Boundaries Early
Even though you’re the sub, you should still outline where your boundaries lie. Let the other person know what you’re comfortable with and what’s off-limits. This will set the stage for a future relationship that’s healthier and more respectful.
How To Be Submissive Over Text With Your Partner
If you’re wondering how to be submissive over text with your partner, you’re not alone. A lot of couples use it to spice things up in a long-term relationship or even a serious relationship. Here’s how to write submissive texts for your partner that will leave them begging for more.
Set the Mood
First, you want to create an atmosphere that makes both of you feel anticipation. Start by sending a text that hints at your submissive mindset. Try something like, “I’ve been thinking about you all day, Sir/Ma’am. How can I serve you tonight?”
This only works if you’ve discussed a potential Dom/Sub relationship. If you haven’t, try something like, “I’m feeling submissive tonight. Can I serve your needs?”
Use Pet Names
Pet names and titles are a staple in any Dom/Sub relationship, and they’re especially effective when submissive texting.
Try referring to your partner as:
- Daddy/ Mommy
- Master/ Mistress
- Queen/King
These names help to reinforce the power dynamic and add a layer of eroticism to your texts.
Describe Your Submissive Actions
When you text your partner, try describing your actions. It can be incredibly arousing for the Dom and brings entire life to the dynamic, even if you’re apart. You might text something similar to “I’m kneeling, like you taught me.”
Describing your actions will help to give your partner a vivid image of your submission. It will make them feel more in control of you.
Ask for Permission
One of the most powerful ways to express your submission through text is by asking for permission before doing anything. This could be what you’re allowed to wear or how you respond to messages.
You could text something like, “May I please take off my clothes, Sir/ Ma’am?” Or, “Can I send you a photo, Master/Mistress?”
The act of asking can be arousing for people with a BDSM kink. It plays directly into the power dynamics of your relationship.
Use Role Playing and Scenarios
Role-playing is a more popular activity for the under-40s. Submissive texting opens the door for more creative roleplay that adds some more depth to your dynamic. It can feed into both of your kinks, especially if you choose an elaborate fantasy.
Role-playing through text can help spice up your relationship, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship. It can also be safer and more controlled than acting it out in person.
3 Best Ways To Find Dominant Texting Partners
Finding the right partner for submissive texting is crucial – especially if you’re not already part of a BDSM relationship. There are plenty of ways to explore where you can meet like-minded people who find Dom/Sub relationships hot.
1. Check Out Dating Apps
Dating apps are an easy way to meet partners, including those who like BDSM. Many apps cater to these kinks, and you can filter for them or write them in your bio. Apps like Tinder, FetLife, and KinkD are great places to start.
Make sure you clearly set out what your expectations are for the relationship. That way, you can attract partners who like the same things as you.
2. Join Online Communities
There are plenty of online forums catering to BDSM and kinks. Reddit has active communities where people can discuss all aspects of the Dom/Sub relationship. Try subreddits like:
- r/BDSM
- r/kink
- r/DomandSub
These are full of both Doms and Subs looking for advice or new partners. You’ll likely find someone who wants purely a texting relationship.
3. Post Personal Ads on DoubleList
An easy and direct way to find a dominant partner is by posting a personal ad on DoubleList. The site allows you to specify exactly what you want. That way, it’s easier to find people who share the same interests.
When writing your ad, be clear and specific about what you want. You might write something like, “Submissive seeking a dominant partner for explicit texts and exploring power dynamics. Seeking a long-term digital dom with the potential for more.”
This lets potential online partners know what to expect if they decide to contact you.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dom/Sub Texting
Now you’ve got to grips with the basics, it’s time we go over the do’s and don’ts of submissive texting. These guidelines will help make sure you have a safe and consensual experience. Let’s take a look!
Do Communicate Clearly
Clear communication should always be the foundation of any Dom/Sub relationship. This also extends to submissive texting. Make sure you’re clear about your boundaries and limits. If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up straight away.
A Dom that’s worth knowing will respect your honesty and work within the boundaries you’ve set.
Don’t Skip the Consent Convo
Consent is non-negotiable, even when the lines are blurry in BDSM relationships. Never assume that your Dom is okay with something just because you are. Always ask before you start introducing new elements to your dirty texting. Make sure you’re both on the same page.
Do Respect Boundaries
Just because you’re in a Sub role doesn’t mean you have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. You should also respect the boundaries your Dom sets as well. If they say something is off-limits, never push it.
Don’t Overstep Your Role
Submissives should always stay within their roles. This means you shouldn’t try to take control of the situation or conversation. Leave that to your Dom. If you want to shake up your roles, you can always ask your partner later down the line.
Do Use Safewords
Safewords aren’t just for in-person BDSM play. It’s just as important in digital communication. Having a safeword that either of you can use if things get too intense is a must. Both parties need to have a way to stop or slow down if they need to.
Don’t Forget Aftercare
Aftercare is essential for any BDSM interaction, including during texting. After a session, take some time to check in with each other. Make sure both of you are feeling good.
It could be as simple as sending them a follow-up text to see how your Dom is doing.
FAQs
What is submissive texting in BDSM?
Submissive texting is all about expressing your submissive role in a BDSM relationship through your phone. You should use language, tone, and cues to reinforce the power dynamics that get you both off.
Submissive texts can start with light, flirtatious messages. They eventually go all the way to explicit texts that help you explore BDSM.
How do I start submissive texting conversations?
If you want to ease into a submissive texting conversation, start by sending a message hinting at your submissive role. If you’re already in a Dom/Sub relationship, you can start by asking your Dom how you can serve them.
If you’re texting someone new, never jump straight into explicit conversations. Start with lighter, more flirtatious messages to hint at your desire to be a sub. You could send something like, “I enjoy pleasing others. What can I do for you?”
How do I find dominant sexting partners online?
There are several ways to find dominant sexting partners online, including joining online communities, checking out dating apps, and finding sites that cater to this type of sexting.
However, always be sure to research these sites to verify they are legitimate.
Find Dom/Sub Relationships With Doublelist
If you’re ready to dive into the sexy world of submissive texting but haven’t found the right partner, try DoubleList. As a personal ads platform, DoubleList offers a space where you can connect with others looking for BDSM relationships.
Are you looking for a dominant partner to exchange explicit texts with or a long-term BDSM partner? DoubleList can make it easier to find exactly what you’re looking for.
Sign up to DoubleList today and post your personal ad in your local area. Then, wait for the messages from potential Dom’s to roll into your inbox!
