Dirty Sex Quotes To Keep Things Extra Spicy

Humor is a great aphrodisiac. If you want to get them in the mood, some dirty sex quotes are a guaranteed way to build anticipation. They don’t even have to be funny, either. You could tell some inspirational quotes to keep your sex life a top priority. Keep reading for our best dirty and funny sex quotes that will make your partner laugh or blush. 

When Should I Use Dirty Sex Quotes?

There’s a time and a place for playful quotes about sex. If you want to spark real happiness, you should only tell dirty jokes to him or her when appropriate. Don’t tell them at work, on a very first date, or at a family event. Unfortunately, 24% of men believe that it’s acceptable to tell sexual jokes at work. This will very likely make your colleagues uncomfortable, so don’t do it!

However, if you have a partner or friends, sex quotes, dirty talk, and the like are a great way to make them laugh. 

You don’t have to solely tell smutty jokes. You can try marriage quotes filled with cheeky humor or a flirty joke that doesn’t cross the line. Laughing at funny moments in life, like a bedroom mishap, is funny yet not too inappropriate. 

Make sure you properly judge the situation you’re in before you drop one of our quotes below.

The 13 Best Quotes About Dirty Sex

If you’re after some quotes about dirty sex, look no further! Our list below covers everything from funny jokes to things to say in the bedroom if you want to use some dirty talk with your man or woman. 

1. I swear to you I won’t stop until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name. 
2. How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked and on top of you? 
3. Come closer until I no longer know where I end, and you begin. 
4. Let’s settle this argument like adults: in the bedroom, naked. 
5. Sometimes, all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok. Or some rough sex or whatever… 
6. Sex is like math. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don’t multiply. 
7. Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent. 
8. I’m in my bed. You’re in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place. 
9. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m using my hand, but I’m thinking of you. 
10. I don’t have a dirty mind; I have a sexy imagination. 
11. I can’t taste my lips. Could you do it for me?
12. Your face would look better between my legs. 
13. The best sex is when you don’t have to worry about how loud you are. 

15 Dirty Quotes About Sex To Send to Your Partner

Here are our best dirty quotes about sex that you should send to your partner to get them blushing. Sending dirty texts is a great way to get them thinking about you. Remember, make sure your partner is into funny sex quotes before you send anything. 

1. You remind me of my toe. Sooner or later, I’m gonna bang you on the table. 
2. I really need a hug that turns into sex right now. 
3. There’s a sale at my house right now. Clothes are 100% off. 
4. Want to come over and watch porn on your flat-screen mirror? 
5. If sex is off the table, how about the bed?
6. They say sex is the best form of cardio. 
7. Life is just like sex. Lie back and get screwed, or get on top and ride the hell out of it. 
8. When it comes to doggy, I’m behind you 100%. 
9. I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. 
10. Don’t tell me what to do. Unless you’re naked. With a leather whip. Forcing me to say, “Yes, mistress.” 
11. I need a cocktail. Without the tail. 
12. The sex was so good last night that even my neighbors went out for a cigarette. 
13. A great way to spice up your love life would be to have sex. 
14. Roses are red. The grass is green. I want you in my bed if you know what I mean. 

The 7 Funniest Dirty Sex Jokes Quotes

If you’re ready to make them laugh, our dirty sex jokes and quotes are guaranteed to get them giggling. Keep reading for some filthy ideas! 

1. My girlfriend thought I’d be a pushover in bed. Wouldn’t you know it, she had me pegged from the start. 
2. Life is like a penis. Often hard for no reason. 
3. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me.” 
4. A young man goes to see his doctor. The doctor tells him, “You need to stop masturbating.” “Why?” the man asks. “Because I’m trying to examine you.” 
5. If I was addicted to masturbating and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
6. I thought of having a threesome. But then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I could have dinner with my parents. 
7. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak. 

Find a Dirty Sex Partner on DoubleList

If you want to find a partner to tell all your dirty sex quotes to, try DoubleList. Our personal ads platform will help you find local singles in your city who want to hear your filthy jokes. All you need to do is write your personal ad stating what kind of relationship you’re looking for. Then publish, and wait for the replies to hit your inbox! 

Check out DoubleList to find dirty sex quote partners to share your amateur standup show with! 

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