About myself

This is my first time writing here. I've been reading a bit of other people's stories, and eventually decided on sharing my own. I have actually wrote it a couple of weeks ago as a form of self-therapy, trying to process my own grief, and it did help for a while. Now I feel ready to share this with other people. It is a long story, and I'll have to upload it in several part, I apologize in advance if it's too long. I will also say upfront that my story is about a relationship between three gay men, whom I refer to as myself, my husband and C, to protect the privacy of everyone involved. I guess that's it for opening word's, so here it is:
There are many things to be said about love. It can evoke the most powerful, uplifting and joyful emotions a human can experience, bringing absolute joy to the people involved. It can also lead to other extremes, when by chance or by choice, the circumstances diverge from the ideal. Like many, I’ve been fortunate to experience both sides of this range, along with the joys and hardships entailed. Remarkably, I've been blessed with not just the opportunity to embrace my desires and fully immerse in these emotions, but also to be embraced by an abundance of patience, acceptance, forgiveness, and support beyond what I had any right to expect. I truly believe, that the individuals in this story are exceptionally kind, warm, and courageous, forming a family I'm incredibly proud to call my own.This story is told from my own perspective, but I don’t pretend to be the hero by any means. In fact, I’m not at all innocent of careless and distasteful conduct, being self-absorbed, arrogant, childish and needy to the very least. I’m not admitting this in an effort to redeem or excuse myself, but rather to stress that despite these mishaps, I was lucky enough to fulfill my heart’s desires, something not to be taken for granted. I have learned the truth of the notion that love sometimes means letting go of the person you love, and that despite the tolls it took, I would never regret the time we all shared.I will also not pretend to be indifferent to sympathy. The need for sympathy is a main driving force behind writing these words. The nature of this story is such that there are few who could be confided in real-time, and support had to come from within, which is not taken lightly. Choosing writing as an outlet in which to process my experiences, is ultimately a way to navigate and reach conclusion and closure, and the need for sympathy is very natural and should not be overlooked. With that said, I realize and respect the fact that my behavior might be considered unacceptable at times, and I do not expect anyone to change their own opinions or believes to accommodate me. I simply wish to share my story as I lived it, hoping to recount it as fairly and accurately as possible.My story has many parts, and choosing the right place to start is difficult. To make things easier, I decided to begin at a certain point, and work my way from there. This point is set in the year 2019, which is five years ago from now, when I met a guy who I will name C for the purpose of the store. He was a handsome, caring and lovely man, who brought excitement and joy to a challenging and stressful time in my life. Most importantly, he liked me. A lot. The thing is, I was and still am, happily married.This year, me and my husband will celebrate ten years of marriage, which will add up to five more years of dating. That’s a total of fifteen years of solid, stable and happy relationship. At first we were a very boring, so called normal, monogamous, gay couple, trying to build a life together, and things worked very well for a time. However,a couple of years into the relationship, we started seeing other people, mostly for sex. Sometimes,these encounters produces new friendships, some of them lasting to this day, and a couple of times, they produced romantic involvements which ended badly