Exploring Confidence at a New Dress-Up Party

I have been dressing for about 10 yrs. I started dressing in my early 20's. I finally am going to dress with other cd's and maybe trans. I joined a group that has parties once a month. I talked to the host about the party, how to act, he said like a lady, what to wear, he said whatever makes me feel comfortable, some are naked especially a couple of trans that come to the parties, some dress in clothes they can be seen out in public, some wear lingerie, some dress sexy, I love dressing sexy! I shave all over, my outfit is thigh high stockings, garter belt, panties, high heels, very short denim skirt and crop top. total make-up and I have long hair in a ponytail. I get there and the host shows me around and interduces me to the other gurls, there are also 3 males there all older. One of the gurls is blowing one of the guys, right in the living room with everyone watching. I'm an exhibitionist so I am thinking I can see myself doing something like that. I am watching her suck his cock, most of the gurls are talking not paying attention, but I'm watching not talking my eyes off the action. One of the other guys only has shorts on, he stands up and takes them off, I can see why he's here his cock is about 8 or 9 inches and very thick. He says hey new gurl, don't just watch come over here and show everyone that you just don't just dress like a slut, I look at the host, she says go on Marcia show us you don't just dress like a slut. I go over and am sucking his cock, he say that's enough I want to fuck you, he fucks me bb, I've used dildos in my ass but never a real cock, he's fucking me dogie style and one of the gurls comes over and I suck her cock. I notice it's quite and the guy fucking me tells me we are putting on quite a show. he cums in my ass and two of the other gurls fuck me and I suck he other guy and two more of the gurls. I rest for awhile and a older very sexy trans and I start making out, we have sex, she tells me how sexy I am and would love for me to be her slave. Slave? I never thought about that, we talked about it and I decided to give it try. I wear her collar, she is sadistic and I found out I like when she abuses me, more marks the better. We make love often. She likes to have me find men who want to have sex with me, sometimes she watches sometimes not. She likes when I find old, fat kind of nasty men to show I am her slut, when I do a good job I get some new sexy clothes.