A Night Out Turns Into Relationship Conflict

OUR FIRST TIME 3 SUM. BI CONTENT. I started dating my now wife in 1991. 26At the time, I was a rough neck, always fitting and in trouble. Wife called me a " bad boy". I was a bouncer when I meet my now wife.
I was pretty racists at the time. Didnt like gays and made it well known.
We dated about 6 months and I moved in with her. She was pretty sexually liberated. Didnt say no for almost anything I wanted.
I begged her to do a 3sum with another girl, but she always said no. She would tell me I dont like gay people and she would be doing gay things if she was with another girl. I always argued that it wasnt the same. But got no where with her.
She had a gay guy that she worked with and was friends with . I only met him once at the bar I worked at.
Fast forward a few months, me always asking for a 3sum with her and another girl. And always getting a firm no!
We was out drinking and was pretty hammered, she was dancing most of the night with another hot girl she went to school with. She was being very flirty with me and dancing very provocatively with my girl. I started bugging my girlfriend to bring her friend home. She wants to do a 3sum. It finally started a fight.
When we got home it turned into a full blown fight. She finally screamed at me.
If I wanted a 3sum with her and another girl. I had to do one with another man. I told her no other man was going to fuck her. She replyed ,then do it with her gay friend Rob from work.
I was taken back on that remark and just went to bed.
The next day she started in about a 3sum with Rob again. She was trying to justify her reasoning. And after a week of agreeing to terms. She set it up