Embracing My Identity and Fantasies

It started when I was about. I discovered gay porn and became interested and soon obsessed. I had gay tendencies before but didn’t understand the feelings. As I dove deeper in to gay porn, I identified mostly with the bottoms. I was also secretly into wearing women’s lingerie and embracing my feminine side.

Then I found it! I discovered ebony gay porn. I was amazed at the beautiful and sexy men and their BBC’s. I knew right there that I was definitely more gay than straight and wanted to be with a black guy. Obviously I was still very young to act on these feelings but I knew what my fantasy was. As I grew up these feelings increased. I just loved the black men in these videos. So powerful and masculine. Just beautiful!

These feelings only increased and no one knew the real me. I had been with a woman and enjoyed the sex, but I always felt I was missing something. On a normal day, I am normal masculine guy into sports, movies, etc. I had this urge to be ultra feminine. I was bigger guy and always loved curvy women’s bodies and wanted them. I always said my ass was meant for black cock.

Finally, it was time to act on these feelings. I always felt like they were wrong and I wasn’t this way. Sometimes I still feel that way, but I was finally ready to give my ass to a man. I was extremely nervous and got to his house. I told him how nervous I was and it was my first time, especially when he took his underwear and jumped in bed. In my head this was it finally. He was extremely nice about it being my first time.

I finally relaxed. I got naked and crawled on to the bed going straight to his cock. I grabbed it, my heart was racing, I took him in my mouth and enjoyed. I took him deep which he loved. Looking at his face enjoy as I sucked his balls was fulfilling. It felt right. I told him I was ready for him to take my ass. I was extremely tight which he loved. He went slow at first and slowly increased his tempo. I started to moan, he ask if I was okay. I said I love it. It seemed very fast. I was close to cumming from him fucking so good, but I was nervous of going on his bed and held it. Then he went it deep, I squeezed him with my legs as he came inside me (with a condom on).

I loved it so much and wish I got to suck the cum out while I came but feel him orgasm was amazing. I loved it so much. I knew then I was gay but never acted on it again.