What Does It Mean To Ghost Someone? The Disappearing Act

Doublelist Team

June 21, 2024 9 minutes read
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Have you ever gone to message the person you’re dating but noticed they’ve deleted their account? Or have you been left on “delivered” for days on end? Your brain floods with questions. Have I done something wrong? Is my phone not working properly? We hate to break it to you, but it sounds like they’ve ghosted you. 

But what does it mean to ghost someone? Unfortunately, in the world of dating, ghosting happens all the time. It refers to vanishing from a person’s life, removing all communication abruptly without any reason or explanation. Trust us, it hurts! 

Do you want to explore ghosting in more detail? Let’s get into it! 

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Understanding Ghosting: What Is It? 

What is ghosting someone? We’re not going to sugarcoat it; ghosting is a pretty awful thing to happen! Ghosting is essentially when a person cuts off all communication and removes themselves from someone else’s life. They don’t explain. They don’t let the person know they’re going to ghost them. They just do it. One day, they’re there; the next day, they’re gone. 

According to Forbes, 60% of people in a survey of 5,000 people have experienced someone ghosting them. Furthermore, 45% of the people say they’ve ghosted someone they were dating. As you can probably guess, it’s quite a common occurrence. 

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What Does It Mean To Ghost Someone?

You might start to wonder how to handle the situation if you’re dating someone and you’re not feeling it anymore. Let’s face it: some people just aren’t talkers. Discussing their feelings with someone they’re dating is a big no. Usually, these are the kinds of people that tend to ghost someone. Relationship experts agree that the reason people tend to ghost someone is because they’re avoiding an awkward conversation. 

If you’re stressed about the concept of having an honest conversation, bowing out might feel like the better option. By ending communication without explanation, you might feel like you’re doing the person a favor. A lot of ghosters have the opinion that it’s saving the person from rejection. While this might seem true, victims of ghosting will tell you that this type of rejection hurts so much more. 

When you ghost someone, you just don’t reply to them. You leave them on “delivered” for long periods, and you don’t pick up their calls. As far as they’re concerned, the romantic relationship you guys had was fine. But, in your eyes, further communication is no longer necessary. Ouch! 

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What Does Ghosting Look Like? 

So, what does ghosting look like? The concept of ghosting is generally the same, but it can look different for everyone. It depends on how often you and a person speak and how long you’ve known them. However, the ghoster usually acts in the same way, and the ghosted person always has questions. 

Imagine you’ve been dating someone for a few months. In your eyes, the two of you are really getting along. You’re happily enjoying flirting over text with them. You think everything is fine until one day you don’t hear from them. You check your phone, and they did not open your last message. “Hm, that’s weird,” you think to yourself. However, you get on with your day as best you can without looking at your phone every five minutes. 

The evening rolls in, and you decide to send another message. No response. So, you try to fall asleep without letting your mind spiral and worry. The next few days come along, and you still don’t hear a thing. Then, one day, you can’t find them on social media anymore, and your message is still there, waiting. Unfortunately, this is what ghosting looks like to some people, and it’s not nice! 

In other cases, the person will actually open the message from you without responding. However it happens, it’s never a good feeling. 

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How To Ghost: Ghosting Types

If you want to end a situation and you want to know how to ghost, ghosting types do exist. There are different levels of ghosting, and they’re not all as hurtful as each other. However, they’re still not great! Here are some examples.

1. Soft Ghosting  

Many people opt for the fade-out ghosting type, also known as soft ghosting. This involves a gradual decline in communication and effort. If you normally respond to a text in minutes, you might start to wait hours. You might open a message, not answer straight away, and then reply a while later. 

If you’re thinking about ending a situation with someone, you might decide to do this. You might hope that they get the hint or even end it themselves due to your lack of effort. This way, you don’t have the guilt of being the one to do it. You can do this in person as well as by texting. You might pretend to be busy and not make plans for a date anytime soon. 

2. Straight-Up Ghosting 

We won’t lie to you; straight-up ghosting someone is brutal. It’s basically the same as disappearing without a trace. It’s not pleasant, and it’s very hurtful behavior. This happens a lot in the online dating world, as people just find it easier to bow out. To do this, you simply never reply to a person again. In the world of causal encounters, this is a popular way to ghost, too. 

This type of ghosting is really not pleasant for the other person, as it makes them question themselves. In their heads, everything was fine! Without the explanation, they might begin to wonder if they did something wrong. If you’re the ghoster, you might decide to do this if you suddenly change your mind. Maybe you’re no longer interested or attracted to the person. So, without a word, you just exit their lives. 

3. The Social Media Ghost 

Another type of ghosting is social media ghosting, where you delete a person from your platforms. Maybe you guys recently matched on a dating app and added each other on your social media accounts. If you change your mind, you might just decide to unfollow or even block them without an explanation. 

Maybe they post a lot, and you don’t want to see it. Or, maybe they message you regularly on different platforms. Whatever the reason is, this is a way of removing yourself and your online presence from them. 

4. Breadcrumb Ghosting 

Breadcrumb ghosting is also known as haunting, and it’s pretty stressful for the victim. This type of ghosting involves giving someone a little, but only now and then. Rather than fully ghosting them, instead, you’ll just give them occasional little bits of attention. They might think you’ve ghosted them, but then there you are with your flirty messages and fast replies. 

People tend to ghost someone in this way if they are incapable of deciding what they want. It’s the epitome of playing hard to get or being mean to keep them keen! You’re just giving them enough attention to keep them there. For the other person involved, this is pretty harsh. They don’t know where they stand, and they struggle to read your intentions. 

If you’re considering ghosting someone, we recommend thinking first! Imagine if it was the other way around! Would you like it? Sure, people have all kinds of reasons for doing things. But we urge you to be more open to an honest conversation next time! Looking for a healthy relationship? Openness and honesty are vital! 

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The Impact of Ghosting and How To Cope

Ghosting can be very negative for the person involved. Not only can it bring up a ton of emotions, but it can be damaging to future relationships. Here are some impacts of being ghosted by someone and how to deal with the feelings:

1. Self-Doubt

If someone’s just vanished from your life without a reason why, it’s common to doubt yourself. You might wonder if you did something wrong or if you weren’t good enough for them. Without a concrete reason from the other person, naturally, your mind will wander. However, this is really a “it’s not you, it’s them” moment! If they ghosted you without explaining why, it’s definitely more their issue than something you did. 

2. Confusion 

Did you think everything was going well with this person? Were you having regular hookups or steamy dates? If that’s the case, you’re bound to feel confused! If you feel unsure about why they disappeared, your mind might spiral with potential reasons why. Try to say to yourself that if they’ve made you feel this way, they’re not worth it anyway! 

3. Trust Issues 

Did someone ghost you out of the blue? Were you not expecting it? There’s a good chance you might experience some trust issues because of this! This might spill into future relationships. You might get along with someone really well, but always worry that they’ll suddenly ghost you. These trust issues are, unfortunately, a result of ghosting, as it’s hard not to expect it again!

However, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own communication style! The person who ghosted you might struggle with communication, but that isn’t the case for everyone. Hopefully, if you meet the right person, you can let your guard down, enjoy a mature relationship, and not worry! 

Overall, ghosting someone is very hurtful and can crush a person’s self-esteem. If you’re no longer feeling it and they’re not “the one,” having an honest conversation is the better option! 

Been Ghosted but Still Looking To Date? Try DoubleList! 

Has someone ghosted you and you’re searching for “Hookups near me”? Don’t worry! There are plenty more fish in the sea, and you’ll find them on DoubleList. This dating site is super open-minded, so you can really go after your desires. Choose your category, create a personal ad, and dive in! If you’ve been searching, “What does it mean to ghost someone?” maybe someone’s ghosted you. If so, you deserve a steamy date! So, sign up to DoubleList today!

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