This Going Dark thing..

First off, in my 40s and have an ass that has attracted black men since I can remember. I'm all white girl, fair skin, freckles, tits that go with the ass. When it first started, highly inappropriate words were hurled in my direction, but just funny to me. I never went that direction...then. Married the perfect couple, sex with him was good, I actually loved it, not too tame, but not over the top either. Then it began to get predictable, but on one evening, drinks and smoke, he is standing on the floor as I am across bed sucking his cock, still predictable, fucks my face, caress balls. But on this occasion as I got up on my knees and my ass went up, my pussy was the strongest tingle in my body, I stopped sucking, on my elbows grabbing his cock, " He," What?" I said nothing, but he persisted so.." I think it would be hot to have a guy fuck me as I suck you. I sort of felt like something missing." I wasn't sure how he was handling it, but in a reluctant tone, " If that's what you want." Bad Idea. Within a week I was reading this site, changed email password so I could look and email them privately. Trying to get through work day without clicking on numerous dick pics. Soft pics? Ewww!
Then lunch on a random Tuesday, a black cock popped on my phone as I sat alone. I can't explain it, I thought of a nature show with an elephant or something. We got on a platform, 20 second clips of him stroking, cumming fucking other women and a man with a wife. Mostly all in leather hoods, hotel rooms. I was far from being a goody two shoes, but this was above my pay grade lol. I would watch this huge cock cum on a 3 second loop as I got off alone.
When my husband saw this big tall black man walk into our bedroom, I felt his cock turn into a pipe in my mouth and precum was immediate. Rick knew the assignment, with a twist, he licked my butt deep, gently caressed my pussy. " Show him.." he laid his cock on my ass as my husband began to go off too soon. Rick filled that void of having my empty pussy in the air, it hit me so deep, I let my husbands load go onto the bed, I had no control over me for 5 minutes. It was a mind numbing experience. I was sore as fuck that night, hubby gently sucked my pussy which was nice, but within 3 days I craved black cock again. He told me to "come over.."another black dude there. He slipped off basket ball shorts and sat on couch, other guy rolling blunts. " We know why you here.." he was right, what other reason would I be here? I drive into his neighborhood for his black cock. He had me lay with my head on the floor against couch. He looked down between his legs at me, his balls and cock hanging above me. He was degrading me, I reacted, I sucked that glorious cock and his balls, his friend slipped my yoga pants right off and gave me my 2nd bbc. 10 pump chump, but he didnt care. Big cock pulled away, "get shit together and get out." hiked up his shorts. I was in shock, but did what I was told. As I was leaving black girl walking in gave me the look, " her?" Burst out laughing. " Don't worry baby,Steve hit it.." Door closed in my face. Husband knew I cheated as soon as I walked in. Felt broken, how casual getting fucked for 5 minutes and thrown out, but the black cock would have my mind, " if you want it, get used to it." No intentions of leaving hubby, but he was gone pretty quickly. For a year I was taking whatever crumbs these two gave me.
Dirty cock that fucked earlier stuffed in my face, I'll take it.
I know my place and this is my choice.