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Common terms

Common terms

  • 69: When two people give each other oral sex at the same time.
  • Aftercare: Coined by the kink community, the term "aftercare" is the practice of checking in with your partner(s) after sex to make sure they had a good, safe, and hopefully thrilling experience.
  • Alpha: The dominant partner in a couple or goup. Similar to top, but more commonly used by the straight than the LGBT community.
  • ASL: Age, Sex, Location? Usually an acronym used to quickly ask for information so the person knows if they want to continue chatting.
  • ATM: Ass To Mouth sex.
  • Back door: Your butthole.
  • Bareback: Any penetrative sex (vaginal, anal…et cetera?) where no protection / condoms are used.
  • BBC: Big Black Cock
  • BBW: Big Beautiful Woman, or a woman who is considered "plus sized."
  • BWC: Big White Cock
  • Bear: a large, hairy gay man.
  • Boi: The meaning of "boi" tends to change from community to community. In general it refers to someone who looks like a hot younger guy. Could be an FTM, a masculine woman, or a twink, depending on the context.
  • Boipussy: Your butthole. A term used by some gay men, and people in the trans and crossdressing communities.
  • BDSM: Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism - you can check out the article here.
  • Bottom: Anyone in a homosexual relationship (or situation) who takes the role of the submissive partner.
  • Bukkake: A sex act in which multiple men ejaculate on another person. As you (probably) already know, it's very popular in porn.
  • Bull: The man who has sex with another man's wife in a cuckolding relationship.
  • Certs: A term used in the swinging community, meaning that other swingers vouch for you as a decent, usually clean and/or DDF person, and a decent lay.
  • Cis / cisman / ciswoman: describes a person who still identifies as the gender they were ascribed at birth. IE: you were born a boy, now you're a man.
  • Clean: It can mean you showered today, but it usually means you're not a drug user and/or you have no STDs.
  • Cockblocking: When someone prevents another person (usually a man) from having sex with someone else. In group sex or cuckolding situations, it can actually be a fetish or form of foreplay.
  • Creampie eating: Sucking the semen out of a vagina or anus that has been creampied.
  • Creampie: Very popular in porn these days, creampie is a sex act in which a male ejaculates in his partner's vagina or anus, or mouth without using a condom. The result is visible seeping of semen from the vagina/anus/mouth, which looks to some like a delicious pastry.
  • Crossdressing / Crossdresser: A man or woman who typically doesn’t identify as trans, but dresses as the opposite gender. On Doublelist, it usually refers to a man who dresses as a woman for sexual gratification.
  • Cougar: a woman in search of younger men for sexual and romantic relationships.
  • Cuckold / Cuckolding: In basic terms, cuckolding is a fetish or kink in which a person gets turned on by their partner having sex with someone else.
  • Cunilingus: Going down on a woman, aka eating pussy.
  • DDF: Drug and Disease Free. A person who does not use or abuse drugs and has no STDs.
  • Docking: Docking is when two men connect their penises via the foreskin. It’s considered an urban legend by some people (but if you’re on any Doublelist gay/m4m listings long enough, you’ll see that they’re very wrong).
    Here’s how it happens: If both men are uncircumcised, one man will pull back his foreskin and hold it in place. The uncircumcised partner then pulls his foreskin over the head of the other man’s penis. After that, you thrust back and forth, and it’s supposed to give you a great orgasm. We hear lube is a good idea.
  • Dogging: Going to a public place such as a highway rest, outdoors, woods or a private or semi private area stop to have sex with (multiple) strangers.
  • Dom / Domme: The Dominant person in a BDSM situation.
  • DP / Double Penetration: This is when you’ve got a lady (or person with a vagina) with one in the V and one in the B (engaging in vaginal and anal sex at the same time).
  • DV / DVP: Double Vaginal Penetration. That's two dicks, one vagina, all at the same time.
  • Edge Play: Kinky sexual play that pushes past your boundaries and introduces to new sexual experiences. Not to be confused with edging.
  • Edging: Edging is when you stop yourself from reaching orgasm, just as you're on the…edge of it. Pretty simple, and currently trending.
  • Exhibitionist: Someone who is sexually gratified by being watched or seen by others.
  • Face-sitting: To receive oral sex by sitting on another person's face.
  • Facial: The act of ejaculating on a person’s face.
  • Felching: Sucking or eating semen out of someone’s anus. Not to be confused with the creampie.
  • fellatio: Going down on a man, aka giving a blowjob.
  • Feminization: A form of dominant/submissive roleplay where the submissive partner is “forced”, encouraged, or trained to behave in a hyperfeminine manner.

    See also sissification.
  • FFM / MFF: A threesome involving to women and one male.
  • Figging: The practice of inserting a raw piece of ginger (skinned) into the vagina or anus. Believe it or not, it burns. For more than two thousand years it was used a form of torture, but these days it’s available by request.
  • Finger / Fingering: : An activity that can be enjoyed alone or with a friend, fingering is inserting fingers into the vagina (but sometimes the anus) for sexual gratification.
  • Fluid-bonded: When a couple engages in unprotected sex, exclusive of any other sex partners. They may or may not sleep with other people.
  • French: Most of us knew this term as “kissing with tongue” as adolescents, but here it means either prolonged deep/heavy kissing or oral sex.
  • Frogging: Referring to the way frogs look while they're having sex, this is a move where the man penetrates the woman from behind, spreading his hands and legs wide enough that almost no part of his body is touching her except for his penis. Requires hand and foot support, of course.
  • Frottage: the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person in a crowd as a means of obtaining sexual gratification.
  • FTM: A female-to-male transperson (transman).
  • Full swap: Usually refers to people in the swinging community who are down to exchange partners and engage in everything including full penetrative sex. See also soft swap.
  • FWB / “Friends With Benefits”: When two people maintain a platonic friendship, but also have sex with each other. Typically, if you’re FWB, you agree that romance is off the table.
  • Gang bang: Any person, male or female, who is penetrated by three or more people consecutively. Sometimes includes DV, DVP, and simultaneous oral and vaginal or anal sex.
  • Heteroflexible: a heterosexual who doesn't identify as bisexual but might engage in bisexual behavior under the right conditions.
  • HJ: Handjob. Or, when someone uses their hand to make you (or bring you closer to) orgasm.
  • Hotwife / Hotwifing: A hotwife is a woman who is allowed and/or encouraged by her husband to pursue sexual relationships with other people. It’s more than just an open relationship—it’s kind of a fetish. For some people, hotwifing and cuckolding are used interchangeably.
  • HWP: Height and weight proportionate. Typically used to describe someone who isn’t plus sized, but who might not have a muscular or toned physique.
  • HMU: Hit Me Up. aka contact me.
  • IRL: In Real Life
  • ISO: In Search Of
  • GGG: Good Giving and Game. Coined by sex columnist Dan Savage, this is sort of the golden rule of a healthy sexual relationship. Be good at it, be giving (make sure your friend is having a great time), and be game (be willing to try something new).
  • Gloryhole / Ghole: A sexual encounter where two people have oral sex or full penetration through a hole in a wall.
  • Lifestyle: Usually refers to the swinger community or people who enjoy swinging.
  • LTR: Long Term Relationship
  • M4M: Men for Men (men seeking men)
  • M4W: Men for women (men seeking women).
  • Menage a trois: A fancy (French) way to say threesome.
  • MFM: a threesome between a woman and two men, typically where the men engage in sexual activity with the woman, but not with each other (at least not directly).
  • MILF: Mom I’d Like to Fuck. She doesn’t literally have to be a mom, she can just be a woman over 35 (roughly).
  • MMF: usually refers to a threesome in which a woman engages in sexual activity with two men who also engage in bisexual activity.
  • Moresome: A cute way to refer to group sex.
  • Motorboat / motorboating: It used to just mean the act of placing your head between a woman’s breasts and making the sound of motorboating or “razzing” with your lips, but as far as we can tell, you can just as easily motorboat a butt.
  • MTF: A male-to-female transperson (transwoman).
  • Munch: An intentional gathering of people to meet others with similar sexual interests, usually BDSM, kink, polyamory, etc. You don't have sex at the munch, you just get to know each other.
  • Mutual masturbation: When one person masturbates another person, and vis versa.
  • MWM: Married White Man
  • NSA: No Strings Attached. It means if you have sex and catch feelings, you’re breaking the rules. But more than meaning all parties agree there won’t be any emotional entanglement, no one involved will owe each other anything (no friendship, no money—which is illegal anyway—no public displays of affection, nothing).
  • NSFW: NotSafe For Work
  • Otter: a gay man with a lot of facial and body hair, similar to a bear, but thinner / a more slender frame.
  • Pan / Pansexual: A person who is sexually “fluid,”—can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender, sex, the other person’s orientation, etc. This not only includes attraction to male and female identifying individuals, but also to people that identify as nongendered or genderfluid.
  • PAWG: Phat Ass White Girl. Phat meaning a nice round butt that has right amount of cushioning.
  • Pearl necklace: When a man ejaculates on a woman’s chest. An affordable and organic way to give a woman jewelry.
  • Peg / Pegging: When a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on dildo, that’s pegging. Whether or not that’s your thing, we highly recommend the pegging episode of Broad City. Or reading our own article about pegging
  • Pic collector: Someone who pretends they want to meet up in person, but in reality just wants to talk online and receive / send photos.
  • Pillow princess: Usually refers to a woman (but doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman) who receives sex/orgasm but doesn’t reciprocate. Originally a lesbian term, it has expanded to include heterosexual relationships where the woman receives oral without reciprocating.
  • Poly / Polyamorous: A person who engages not only in multiple sexual relationships simultaneously, but is open to having multiple romantic relationships simultaneously. This generally refers to someone who is open and honest about their romantic preferences, and not someone who is simply “having an affair.”
  • Queef: When air escapes the vagina and makes a farting sound. Some laugh it off, others have a fetish for it. We definitely don’t recommend stressing about it, because it’s a natural side effect of taking it like a champ.
  • Queening: Queening is our favorite way to say “face-sitting” (an oral sex position). You’re using someone’s face as a throne.
  • Rim Job / Rimming: Licking outside, inside, and/or around the anus. It used to be considered a rare or kinky activity, but these days it’s pretty mainstream.
  • SBF: Single Black Female
  • SBM: Single Black Male
  • Soft swap: Usually refers to people in the swinging community who engage in exchanging partners and engaging in everything EXCEPT penetrative sex. See also full swap.
  • Scissoring: Generally thought of as a lesbian thing, the classic definition of scissoring is two women rubbing their vulvas together. Very popular in porn and reportedly less popular in real life. Luckily, the definition has recently expanded to include other forms of tribading.
  • Sissification: Sexual roleplay in which a submissive partner is “forced,” trained or encouraged to dress and behave in a hyperfeminine manner.
  • Sissy: Here at Doublelist, a sissy is usually a crossdresser or transvestite who doesn’t typically live as a transgender person. Sissy doesn’t just mean “effeminate,” it also means weak or cowardly, so identifying as a sissy typically means the person enjoys being shamed or teased.
  • Smothering: Using the genitals, breasts, or butt to cover a persons face and often restrict air to the other person, but not necessarily to the point of asphyxiation.
  • Squirting: The fun word for female ejaculation, squirting is when a woman/person with a vulva emits a clear fluid from the urethra during sexual activity. It may or may not accompany an orgasm. There’s been a lot of “is it pee” controversy, but to clear that up—there’s just pee in female ejaculate, just like there’s always a little pee in semen.
  • SRS: Short for "Sexual Reassignment Surgery," the surgery done by transsexuals to change the male genitalia to the female genitalia or vise versa.
  • Stag: The male half of an open relationship. Usually describes a man in a situation similar to cuckolding, but rather than being aroused by the shame or humiliation of his wife sleeping with another man, he is proud of it. You might also run into swingers who use this term to describe men who go to swing clubs and group sex events without a female partner.
  • STI or STD: Sexually Transmitted Infections or Diseases.
  • STR, STR8, Straight: Heterosexual.
  • Sub: The submissive person in a dominant/submissive sexual encounter.
  • SW: A single woman, often referring to a unicorn in a threesome or group sex situation.
  • Swap: When two or more couples trade sexual partners among themselves.
  • SWF: Single White Female.
  • Switch: Anyone in a gay, lesbian or BDSM pairing who enjoys playing both Sub and Dom.
  • SWM: Swingle White Male
  • Tantric sex: A spiritual sexual practice where a couple essentially meditates while having sex. The practice includes breathwork as well as intense and sustained eye contact. Actual intercourse is optional. You can read a book about it or even attend a class if you’re interested. Many people are drawn to it because of the possibility of prolonged orgasm or intensified sexual and romantic pleasure.
  • Teabag, Teabagging: When one person’s scrotum (balls) is dangled over/touches/is inserted in the mouth of a sex partner. Like when you dip a teabag repeatedly in a teacup.
  • TG / Trans / Transgender: Transgender refers to anyone who identifies as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth, but may or may not have undergone surgery or hormone therapy.
  • Top: Top: Anyone in a homosexual pairing who prefers to be the dominant partner (usually the one doing the penetrating). Coined by gay men, it’s been adopted by lesbians as well.
  • Tossing Salad / Salad Tossing: A fun new way to say rim job.
  • Trade: A man in a gay pairing who plays “butch,” whether or not he typically presents as masculine. The term comes from men who are working as tradesmen (construction workers, plumbers, etc), generally considered a “masculine” line of work.
  • Thot: That Ho Over There
  • Tranny: A transgender person, transsexual person, or crossdresser. Many have come to consider this a slur. However, many trans people (usually transwomen) on Doublelist still self-identify as “tranny.” We’re not picking sides, just telling you the facts.
  • Transman: A man who was assigned as female at birth.
  • Transwoman: A woman who was assigned as male at birth.
  • Trib / Tribbing / Tribading: The act of rubbing one’s vulva/genitals on another person’s body. Like scissoring, with more options. Rub your clit on any part of another woman’s body—you’re now a tribadist. “Tribade” means lesbian in Portuguese.
  • TS / Transsexual: Technically, a transsexual is a person who identifies as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth, and has had sexual reassignment surgery. On Doublelist, however, this usually refers to all transwomen, whether or not they have had “bottom” surgery. Some people find this term outdated and offensive, but we leave that up to you.
  • Twink: Usually a gay man with attractive, boyish features.
  • Unicorn: The rare and wonderful woman who is interested in having a threesome with an existing heterosexual couple. They’re called unicorns because they’re awesome and hard to find.
  • Vanilla: Generally speaking, it means “normal,” non-kinky, sex. What is normal? We don’t know. To some people it means strictly heterosexual, missionary style sex. To others it’s just sex that doesn’t feel “dirty” to whoever is doing it.
  • Verse / Versatile: refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming, and may alternate between the two in sexual situations.
  • Vixen: The female half of a straight swinger couple or open relationship.
  • W4M: Women for men (women seeking men).
  • W4W: Women for women (women seeking women).



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