Three is a magic number. The genie gives you three wishes. The third time’s the charm. Three is the perfect number for Pythagoras because it represents “harmony, wisdom and understanding.” The Rule of Three is a writing principle that suggests a set of three (words, ideas, events, etc.) is the ideal set for optimal pattern recognition.
The number three holds a special place in both superstition and science and mathematics. And for some, the number three is most magical in the bedroom. Here’s the ultimate threesome guide for the curious monogam-ish, the adventurous polyamorous singles and couples, and everyone in between!
Your Ultimate Guide to Threesomes: The Basics
The proper way to begin our threesome guide is by defining the word. Simply put, a threesome is sex involving three individuals. Many people describe threesomes as their ultimate fantasy. But a threesome, also referred to as a three-way, does not always imply or lead to sexual intercourse.
Any sexually intimate activity among three consenting adults can be called a threesome. It can refer to a naughty or explicit three-way chat or phone sex. It can be fooling around with three sets of hands and lips, an oral sex chain, or an Eiffel Tower.
A three-way group sex can involve a couple plus a third or three singles. The participants can be a mix of any gender. The group can include a hetero couple and a gay/straight man or woman. It can be a gay couple and a gay/straight man or woman. Other variations may be three, single gay men/women, or a mix of bi/s and straight/s. You won’t need a mathematical equation to figure out how many permutations a threesome can have. You just need an active imagination.
Why a Ménage à Trois Is Très Sexy
First things first, let’s clarify that the term “ménage à trois” does not refer to any type of threesome. It’s more specific and typically involves “a domestic arrangement and committed relationship” between a married couple and the lover of one of them. Let’s continue our threesome guide and take a closer look at what makes a threesome the guilty pleasure that it is.
It all comes down to this popular saying: The more, the merrier. And in a threesome, there are more hands, fingers, lips, and tongues exploring, pleasuring, and stimulating more erogenous zones. Just picturing all those intertwined and writhing limbs and bodies has probably gotten you hot and excited, didn’t it? Then you understand the appeal of three-way sex. Two lovers are better than one.
Here are the common reasons people engage in or fantasize about threesomes:
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To explore their sexuality
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To fulfill a fantasy or indulge a kink/fetish
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To engage in something that’s considered a taboo — which makes it all the more exciting.
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Because they’re sexually attracted to two people
Your Ultimate Threesome Guide: Things to Keep In Mind When Setting up a Threesome
Whether you’re single, in a casual FWB/NSA relationship, or a committed relationship, keep the following tips in mind when setting up a threesome. Our ultimate threesome guide won’t be complete without these.
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Clearly communicate what you want. Be clear about your needs, desires, and intentions. Be honest about what you hope to get out of the experience. How you communicate will depend on the kind of relationships you have with the people with whom you want to have a threesome.
It’s important that everybody involved is on the same page about the arrangement from the get-go. Navigating a three-way can be tricky, but open communication helps. This is especially crucial if you’re in a committed relationship and want to invite a third into your bedroom.
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Find the right partner/s. If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner have to agree on who to invite as your third. This goes without saying even if the desire for a threesome was borne out of your (or your partner’s) attraction to somebody else. Remember that a successful three-way means pleasure and satisfaction for all participants. If you’re single, whether you’re choosing a couple or two single individuals, three-way chemistry is important.
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Set rules and limits. You may need different sets of rules and limits. One set may be just for you; another set would be for you and your partner (if you’re in a relationship). You may need a third set for the whole group. Rules and limits that involve the other participants will require discussion and negotiation, and the complete agreement of everyone. These may include specific sex acts which are allowed and those that aren’t (everyone should be comfortable performing and/or receiving them); safe sex practices; safe words; bedroom scenarios; what happens after; etc.
House Party Threesome Guide
Perhaps you want to have your menage a trois at home, where you and your partner are most comfortable. Or maybe you’re the third and prefer to invite a couple over to your place. Or you just want to be the host/hostess of a threesome party for singles and couples alike. Whatever the scenario, here’s your house party threesome guide.
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Set the stage. Do you want to just stay in the bedroom, or do you plan to entertain your guest/s in the dining room and/or living room first? Set the mood you like with dim lighting, music, pillows on the floor, etc. Make sure you lay out fresh sheets on your mattress (yes, clean sheets are important!). If you’ll be playing with toys, have them ready, as well.
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Do a bathroom check. Clean all surfaces. Deodorize, light scented candles, or use a diffuser. Make sure you’re fully stocked — with toilet paper, extra toothbrushes, towels, etc. This is not just about making a good impression on your guest/s; it’s also about looking after their basic needs and ensuring that nothing unpleasant ruins the sexy ambiance.
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Have porn ready. It’s better if the porn selection had already been decided by everybody prior to the actual sex party. It should already be playing by the time your guest/s arrive.
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Choose the right mood music. As with the porn, you can ask your threesome partners what music they like. This is can be an alternative or a follow-up to the porn.
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Make your guest/s comfortable. Especially if your guests are first-time visitors to your place, give them a quick tour, show them your play areas, and let them relax and acclimate before you heat things up.
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Keep water within reach. Everybody will need to hydrate frequently, and you wouldn’t want to be getting up to get a glass of water each time.
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Ready the condom party pack. Even if everybody else is packing, you should have a box of condoms ready to go.
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Prepare after-party nourishment. It doesn’t have to be a feast. You can order pizza ahead of time and just reheat it. Stock up on ice cream. Get ingredients for a quick sandwich. Or ask your guests what food they’ll want to have post-coitus and have it ready.
MMF Threesome Guide
An MMF or male-male-female threesome often involves an MM couple, with at least one of the males being bi. When only one of the males is bisexual, he’s the only one who engages sexually with the female, and both his gay partner and the female can engage with him simultaneously. When both males are bisexual, the pleasuring can go in all directions. An MMF threesome can also involve three heterosexual singles. In this group, the sexual acts of the males are only focused on the female, and the female can pleasure them individually or simultaneously.
MFM Threesome Guide
An MFM or male-female-male threesome may refer to a hetero couple or a bisexual male in a hetero relationship, plus a male third who may or may not be straight depending on what the couple prefers.
When the couple is hetero, the male third is typically straight and the threesome is mostly about the fantasies of the female; but it’s also possible that the male partner has a fantasy or kink that involves sharing his woman with another male. When the male partner is bisexual, the threesome typically involves a male third who is gay or also bi. As with the MMF threesome guide, an MFM threesome may also involve three single individuals, with the MF being FWB/NSA partners.
Same-Sex Threesome Guide
Same-sex threesomes may be MMM or FFF. These groups may include individuals/couples who identify as gay, bisexual, non-binary, etc.
Different Ways to Do Three-Ways
If you look up “threesome guide” or “guide to threesomes” online, you’ll discover that three-ways used to be categorized according to various male and/or female combinations. Threesomes were traditionally described as MFM, or male-female-male; FMF, or female-male-female; MMF; FFM; MMM; and FFF.
With gender identities and expressions being more fluid these days, threesomes may be categorized based on how the participants identify themselves. You may also find threesomes characterized according to the genitalia of the participants, e.g., PPV means a penis-owner, penis-owner, and vagina-owner are the individuals in the three-way.
Let’s take a look at different three-way scenarios.
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Threesome with a unicorn. A unicorn refers to a female who joins a heterosexual couple for a threesome. The use of the term indicates that such a female is as rare as a unicorn.
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Daisy chain. This describes a three-person oral-sex chain.
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Double penetration (DP). This sex act describes the simultaneous penetration of two orifices with penises, fingers, dildos, ball gags, butt plugs, and/or other sex toys.
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Double vaginal penetration (DVP). This refers to two penises, two dildos, or a combination of the two simultaneously penetrating the vaginal canal.
Where to Go if You’re Interested in Threesomes
So where can you go if you want to participate in a threesome or are looking for a third to join you and your partner? Here a threesome guide to the best places to find threesomes.
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Check out a munch community/platform. A munch refers to a social hangout for folks who are interested in BDSM, but who are not particularly looking for sex. While the vibe is typically non-sexual, you’ll still have good odds of connecting with people who may be interested in a no-strings-attached threesome. Try Fetlife or Fetopia.
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Attend a sex party. Sex parties are often invite-only and typically found through word-of-mouth. Visit local sex shops to inquire about such events; you can also check out online BDSM, polyamory, or fetish communities. Take a look at Killing Kittens, a site dedicated to promoting the sex club scene.
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Use dating sites. Choose dating sites that are dedicated to casual encounters and hookups. Check out DoubleList personals, where you can meet folks in your area who share your sexual interests and desires. Signing up is completely free and you’ll remain anonymous. The site is highly inclusive and allows members to select more than one sexual preference for potential matches.
DoubleList is available in more than 248 locations in the United States, so you have great odds of connecting with someone in your area whose needs and desires match yours. Set up your next hookup soon! Sign up for a free account now!
