Finding Love on a Gay Dating App: Match With Mr. Right

Doublelist Team

January 26, 2023 11 minutes read
Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious!

Do you know that Rihanna song about finding love in a hopeless place? Do you ever think she might as well be singing about finding love on a gay dating app? We feel you. There’s an ocean of top hook-up apps but only a tiny pond focused on long-term relationships.

If you’re a romantic or just a guy standing in front of a dating app asking it to love him, you might think you’re out of luck. Think again.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t gay dating apps worth your time. Ready to restore your faith in love? We’ll walk you through finding love on a gay dating app, the benefits, and which apps to download ASAP.

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Is Finding Love on a Gay Dating App Possible?

Yes, finding love on a gay dating app is possible. It’s a common misconception that queer people only use apps for casual dating or finding a hookup. Some of this comes from stereotypes about the gay community. You know, those old misconceptions that only cishet people date for love. (Cue eye rolling the world over.) But some of it comes from studies, like this one from Psychology Today, linking gay dating apps to more sexual terms rather than commitment-based terms.

On top of that, many gay dating apps heavily emphasize casual encounters and dating over love. Take Grindr, for instance. People always find love on the app, but no one thinks of it as a relationship app. The name is almost synonymous with dick pics and quickies.

But here’s the truth: you can find “forever” on these sites. All it takes is knowing where to look, being honest about your intentions, and having patience. Not the sexiest threesome of ideas we know. But it’s effective. Let’s break down these three points a little further.

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How to Find Love on Dating Apps

  1. Know where to look. Ever heard the phrase, when someone shows you who they are, believe them? The same rule applies to how to find love on dating apps. If a service brags about being one of the best gay hookup apps, skip it. Instead, seek out apps with testimonials from real couples that pride themselves on producing successful relationships. Another option is to listen to recommendations from other queer people who found their match online.
  2. Be honest about your intentions. Some of you reading this are hopeless romantics. You think finding love on a gay dating app means changing the party bro gym rat into a husband. You want to believe that a friends-with-benefits situation can turn into true love. And it can. But it’s not likely. The best thing you can do for yourself is to always be honest on your profile. Let people know you’re looking for actual relationships and block everyone else.
  3. Patience, patience, patience. If online dating were easy, you wouldn’t be here reading this post. It’s going to take time, and it’s going to have ups and downs. You’ll still end up going on a lackluster date or two. You’ll still get swiping fatigue from time to time. That’s all part of the process. But stick it out, and you’ll match up with Mr. Right.

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Why Finding Love on a Gay Dating App Is the New Normal

Now you know finding love on a gay dating app is possible. Next, let’s explore why it’s your best option for a relationship. First of all, what’s the alternative: in-person dating? You know what’s more complicated than going on an app for singles? Tracking down a partner IRL.

For starters, an app at least narrows down your search to people actively looking for someone else. At the very minimum, if someone’s on these apps, they’re interested in some form of dating. Then, you can swipe yes or no on people that meet your criteria. But with in-person dating, it’s not that simple. Here’s a scenario for you:

You kick off your night Googling the best gay bars near you so you don’t waste time on straight dudes. Once you find a place, you must dress to impress and spend your night approaching person after person. Rejection isn’t fun over an app, but it stings less than a face-to-face “no.”

After all, that, say you find someone you connect with. You get their number, text them, and then nothing. Maybe they ghosted you or weren’t interested and just took your number out of politeness. Either way, you’ve struck out.

You don’t have to waste all that time, money, and effort on online dating. You spare your feelings and can download an app for gay folks to keep your search tailored and safe. So are there benefits of gay dating apps? Yes. Sounds like a no-brainer to us.

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The Best Apps for Finding Love as a Gay Man

If finding love as a gay man is what you’re after, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve combed through the hundreds of gay hookup apps to find those lone nuggets of gold for serious daters. With these four choices, finding love on a gay dating app won’t seem like such a far cry. Here are our four recommendations:

  1. Elite Singles
  2. Hinge
  3. Wapo
  4. OkCupid

We picked each of these based on their gay-friendliness, user base, popularity, and personalization potential. Keep reading to learn more about how each of these apps work, who they’re best for, and other tips.

Elite Singles: For Professionals Finding Love on a Gay Dating App

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If you don’t mess around regarding your career, goals, or dating, Elite Singles is for you. This gay app for singles is as far from gay hookup apps as possible. Instead of prioritizing matching clients with the most people, this app prides itself on selectivity and compatibility. How does it do this?

For starters, the app only allows highly driven, successful professionals. They have a college degree, high-paying jobs, and busy schedules. While they’re ready to settle down, they don’t have time to go on a thousand dates. Each user takes a personality test to get an accurate read of who you are and your compatibility.

If you pass the vetting process (and pay the membership fee), you then move on to the next phase. Here, you take a highly specific personality test meant to decode your type down to the fine details. We know this all might come off a bit elitist. But after all, “elite” is right there in the name. If finding love on a gay dating app means only talking to high-achieving, successful queer people, download away.

Finding Gay Love With Hinge


Not every mainstream dating app is the place for finding gay love, but Hinge passes with flying colors. This app isn’t overly focused on cishet conventions. Instead, you can specialize it to exactly what you’re looking for.

For gender options in the Hinge app, you can pick from men, women, and non-binary. Then, you have the option to elaborate further in case those terms don’t cover everything. In terms of who you’re looking for, you can pick any (or all three) of the gender options. This makes the app not only ideal for gay men but for the gay community in general.

Hinge is very popular among Gen Z and young millennials, so buckle up for a good time if that’s you. You can add photos, videos, voice memos, or fun icebreaker questions to make the experience almost like social media. After all, who said finding love on a gay dating app couldn’t be fun?

Last but not least, one of the biggest upsides to this app is that it’s specifically for substantial relationships. It markets itself as “the app designed to be deleted,” meaning users aren’t using Hinge for hookups. They’re looking for the real deal.

Wapo: The Low-Key Option for Finding Love on a Gay Dating App

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Wapo is the best place for gay singles you’ve never heard of. Unlike well-known apps like Grindr and Scruff, Wapo flies under the radar. The downside of this is that the dating pool is smaller. But on the plus side, since this app is more niche, the user base may also be more dedicated.

This app covers everything from friendships to relationships, all for gay, bi, queer, or trans men. It has a layout similar to Grindr, so if you’re a fan of the simple, user-friendly interface, you’re in luck. You can filter your options by age and location as well. Thinking about finding love on a gay dating app while traveling? Wapo’s worldwide. Feel free to use it wherever you go.

In terms of functions, you can chat, send videos, match, or meet up. The app also keeps your safety top of mind with user verification. Everything you see is real: real profiles, real people, real photos. No more constantly worrying about catfishes or scammers.

Like many apps, it works on a “freemium” model. This means that many essential functions are free, like creating an account and limited chatting. However, you’ll need to pay for a membership to gain full access to all app features.

Finding Love on a Gay Dating App With OKCupid

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OkCupid isn’t strictly for gay dating. But it’s the most inclusive and gay-friendly dating app out there. As of 2021, the app expanded the identity portion of OKC profiles to include 60 options. From femme to masc to bear to leather daddy, the app has thought of almost every label imaginable.

On top of OKCupid prioritizing inclusivity, their users do as well. According to the company’s blog, 97% of users support marriage equality. Additionally, 7 out of 10 users said that it was important that their partner cares about the LGBTQ+ community. So even if you run into a few straights while using the app, you’ll feel safer than on other apps.

The only exception is if you’re interested in finding love on a gay dating app as a gay conservative. OKC and its users lean heavily to the left. If that’s not for you, keep scrolling.

Beyond identity and user base, the app is also super functional and easy to use. You can use OKCupid in the usual algorithm-based swiping method or like a search engine. Just navigate to the search bar and type in what you’re looking for.

The only major drawback we’ve found is also one of its biggest selling points: it’s free. What could be bad about that? Since there’s no paywall or investment, dead profiles and non-serious searchers pop up more than on apps with fees. Always keep safety top of mind whenever you’re speaking to strangers on the internet.

Double List: The Alternative to Finding Love on a Gay Dating App

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If you’re looking for an alternate method for finding love on a gay dating app, try free gay dating sites. Like DoubleList, the new site for relationships, dating, friendship, and more. DoubleList is a personal ad site where anyone can create an account and post or respond to an adult classified. As a gay man, you can specify your gender and preferences and that you’re looking for a real relationship.

What makes personal ads different from dating apps? For one thing, there’s no swiping. You just write your ad and let the potential suitors come to you. For another, you can get as detailed and into the nitty gritty as you want. You have room to tell a story, list requirements (personality-wise or physical), or anything else to help you strike gold.

DoubleList is free, easy to use, features quick signup, and is available in over 248 US cities. Best of all? Your privacy is always protected. No matter what you’re in the mood for, you can remain anonymous. Sign up for a free account now!

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