Find Hookups: The Best Ways to Find a Fling

Doublelist Team

January 10, 2023 10 minutes read
Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious!

People these days have a lot of hot takes about “hookup culture” and one-night stands. But we know one thing for sure. If you’re looking to find hookups, you’re far from alone. That’s why endless apps promise to set you up with the sexy encounter of your dreams.

So how do you sort through all that noise? Never fear, DoubleList is here. We’ll walk you through the long and short of where and how to find a hookup and more.

Dog cucumber

How to Find Local Hookups

When looking for potential hookup partners, why not start locally? For one thing, finding someone to have an NSA night in your area is more convenient. You won’t have to go on a long voyage for some fun. Plus, meeting up in neutral locations you’re familiar with will be easier if safety is a concern.

Wondering how to find local hookups? Well you can always go the old-fashioned route and hit up the bar or club scene. Get a little liquid courage in your system and approach another single that catches your eye.

Let’s be honest; we don’t have time for all that. The fastest, best way to find hookups is through apps or websites. Most popular dating apps are location-based, like Tinder and Grindr. You can set your radius of how far you’re willing to look for an encounter, and then get to swiping.

Of course, anyone can use these apps and services. But they mostly gear toward the unattached. If you’re trying to find local hookups while in a relationship, keep reading for how to switch up your approach.

Find Local Hookups While Married

Listen, we’re not here to judge. (Unless you’re a wife guy. Then we have some thoughts.) Open marriages aren’t taboo anymore. As long as everyone in the situation is consenting, including your life partner, there’s nothing wrong with casting out your net. If you want to find local hookups after saying “I do,” you’re in luck. Plenty of websites have specialized in the world of married dating.

Sure, big names tied up in scandals come to mind. (Ashley Madison, anyone?) But more discrete versions exist for those ring-wearing individuals seeking out casual dating. In fact, most popular sites and apps for hookups have options for open or poly daters.

However, if you want an experience tailored to your affair fantasies, check out Feeld or #Open. Feeld is excellent for anyone interested in dipping their toes into the world of kink as well. If you’re interested in community events IRL or virtual, #Open has you covered.

One of the biggest reasons we recommend going with one of those apps? It has to do with safety and security. Because of the negative attention that comes with married dating services, these sites are ripe with privacy issues and scammers. AdultFriendFinder is popular for swingers, for example. But it has a long history of inadequate security, including hacker incidents and improper encryption.

Long story short, we want you to have a safe and sexy time while you find a hookup.


How to Find Gay Hookups

Depending on where you live, how to find gay hookups can be a bear. (No pun intended.) Not all queer daters have the luxury of living in accepting locations with thriving gay communities.

Then again, if you do live in one of these safe havens, you might run into the opposite problem. Everyone you try to hookup with has hooked up with someone you know. No matter your reason, it’s okay to want help to find a hookup.

Can’t go out in the real world for a date—or prefer not to? Then apps and sites are the best way to find hookups for LGBTQIA+ people. Several services function specifically with gay users in mind. Like Grindr for gay men, HER for lesbians, or LEX for non-binary adult dating.

Why use these over other apps that include cishet daters? Two big reasons are:

  1. Safety. Sorry if we sound like a broken record at this point, but hookup safety is everything when hooking up. Especially if you’re queer, you want to ensure you’re in a space where you can freely express yourself.

  2. A Tailored Dating Pool. These apps focus on gay dating and hookups, which makes for a more personal experience. They cater to your needs instead of focusing just on straight preferences.

Remember that no dating app is perfect. No matter where you go, you might still run into fake profiles or catfishes. So keep your wits about you and play it smart.

Man in bed with a cucumber

Cougar Hookups: How to Find Them

Are you looking to connect with an older, more experienced woman? Then say hello to cougar hookups. Not sure where to find hookups with these seasoned daters? As with seeking out other types of one-night stands, you can go the app route. Most allow you to pick your age preference, so you can quickly narrow your search. That said, a lot of the usual apps cater to younger users.

If you want to get really specific, you can even download apps that tend to skew older. Like eHarmony or PlentyofFish. The only downside to this is that many website users tend to be looking for long-term relationships. So if apps aren’t working out for you, what do you do?

This is actually one of the times when going old-fashioned could be your best bet. Many cougars favor the real world over the internet. Think of bars or restaurants with an older demographic and go there instead of your usual hangouts.

Or spend time in community centers or locations with classes that might interest an older woman. Think dance lessons or cooking courses. There you can be the young, hot eye candy giving them the attention they desire.

Best App to Find Hookups

We’ve talked about a lot of different apps for all your adult dating needs. Now is the time when we get down to the nitty-gritty. We’ll tell you definitively (in our opinion) what are the best apps to find hookups. They are:

  1. OkCupid

  2. Tinder

  3. Grindr

For this ranking, we researched the most popular apps and selected those that fit the most amount of daters. We also looked for trustworthy apps so you won’t waste your time with scams or bots. Read on as we dive deeper into each of these services to help you pick the best one for you.

Banana cat

Find Hookups With OkCupid

Although OkCupid isn’t strictly limited to hookups, it’s a popular go-to for millennial and GenZ daters. Why? Because of the app’s renewed focus on politics, social issues, and LGBTQIA+ friendliness. If the idea of someone who voted the same way as you turns you on, this app is for you.

The hookup website offers users a series of in-depth or off-the-wall questions. This helps you better align with people with the same viewpoints. They also have plenty of options regarding gender identity and what kind of relationship you’re looking for.

Not too worried about political affiliations and want to focus more on good sex? OkCupid’s still got you covered. They have a handy search function to type in “casual hookups” and instantly pull up hundreds of profiles.

Another bonus of this app is getting plenty of bang for your buck. Though the site has paid tiers, you can still find hookups without dropping any cash. Messaging and search tools are all available on the free version.


We all knew it was coming. When it comes to the best way to find hookups, Tinder will always reign supreme. Why? For one, this is the place where “swiping” was born. Once you register, you can left-swipe “no” or right-swipe “yes” until you find your date. Daily limits depend on whether you’re using a free or paid version. But for the most part, the app keeps feeding you potential matches as you swipe.

For another, Tinder keeps it simple. You just set up a basic profile and get to work. All you need is a photo, your dating preferences, and (if you want) a brief bio. This is ideal for people who just want to cut to the chase. You can always make your profile more detailed if you want. Unlike relationship-focused apps like Bumble or Hinge, you don’t lose points for not having witty answers to icebreaker-style questions.

Another plus side of using Tinder is its recent vetting measures. Verified users have a blue checkmark on their profiles. You can get your page verified by submitting a video selfie. Finding people who are DTF never felt so safe and easy.

Bear Honey

Find Hookups With Grindr

No list of the best apps for finding hookups would be complete without Grindr. It is the staple dating app for gay men, though technically, it accepts bi, trans, and queer people as well. Similar to Tinder, the thing that makes this app so successful is its simplicity.

Instead of using the old swiping mechanism, this app is all about location. Download the app, punch in your profile, and a map populates with other users near you. From here, you can message anyone in your radius. This makes the app especially ideal if you’re trying to find a hookup ASAP.

With that in mind, make no mistake that this app is geared toward hookups. It’s generally expected that you’re not looking for a long-term relationship if you’re scrolling through Grindr. On the bright side, that keeps your hookups cut and dry. On the other hand, ensure you’re honest with yourself about what you want. The last thing you want to do is catch feelings for your friends with benefits.

In addition to being known as the app for gay men to hookup, it’s also known for being NSFW. You can set your preferences to not accept explicit content, but users don’t always play by the rules. In short, if you’re scared of getting an unsolicited dick pic, choose a different app. But if you want to find hookups and get a little raunchy along the way, enjoy.

The Best Website to Find Hookups

We’ve given you the run-down on apps and now it’s time to talk about the best websites for hookups. For a long time, Craigslist’s Personals and Missed Connections reigned supreme. But since this service shut down, it’s harder to track down where to find hookups online. If you’re straight, try out Reddit’s 4/R4R forum. Here you’ll find personal ads like Craigslist ideal for adult dating.

If you’re looking for a gay dating platform with endless possibilities, try Doublelist. You can search for casual encounters, threesomes, hookups, and more. You can connect with like-minded individuals or keep it casual with a no-strings-attached one-off. If you’re LGBTQIA+, this is the place for you.

Signing up is easy as pie, and anonymity is guaranteed. Register, and within minutes you’ll be browsing local listings to help you find matches near you. DoubleList is available in most major cities in the US so you’re sure to find what you’re looking for. And guess what? Membership is 100% free. Sign up for a free account today!

Unlock your wildest fantasies and connect with locals today!

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